


Ode To Billy Hargrove

by urisarang



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abuse, Attempted Murder, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Billy Hargrove-centric, But boy is it fucked up before that, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, POV Billy Hargrove, Slurs, This aint pretty, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urisarang/pseuds/urisarang
Summary: Billy is a good for nothing punk from Cali stranded out in the middle of no where Indiana because his bitch of a step sister ratted him out to his dad.  He had been so careful to keep his taste for men a secret but of course Maxine had to screw that up for him, so now he's 'away from temptation' in the god loving small town.It should have been easy to coast on by until he was 18 and could go back to Cali, there should have been no one here that would even be close to his type.But then there came along Steve 'The King' Harrington and his stupid fucking hair and slim model body to ruin everything for Billy.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 32
Kudos: 111
Collections: Everybody Lives Stranger Things Universe





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [It's not rigged!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19803010) by [urisarang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/urisarang/pseuds/urisarang). 



> Set in the same universe as my Its Not Rigged Story but obviously as this happens before you don't have to read that one. I just have this head cannon where no one dies and I like it ok? xD
> 
> Been working on this here and there since season 3 came out. Shit is dark yo. Will get better for Billy in later chapters I promise. :) 
> 
> Actual slashy stuff is way later on cause well. . .I'm sticking close to cannon for this one and it ain't nice to Billy. I'm still going to give him a happy ending tho. . .eventually. xD

Hawkins fucking Indiana. His dad really pulled out the stops when he chose this shit hole backwater town as their new home as group punishment for Billy's transgressions. He needed to be put somewhere 'God fearing' and without the many temptations of sin in California. 

Nothing like dragging your faggot of a son to hicksville so just in case he didn't manage to beat the gay out of him he could rely on strangers to do the same if he stepped out of line. Billy had to hand it to the old man, it was a solid plan, ain't shit but dumb farmers for miles. 

Might have worked too, if it weren't for him and his stupid fucking hair.

First day of school and he heard whispers of 'King Steve' and hoped that maybe it wasn't all talk and this town might have just one person worth his time. He would get a kick out of dethroning the so called king, showing him what a real alpha male is like. 

Maybe he'd keep the old king as a lackey if the guy was half as cool as himself. Billy didn't let his hopes get too high as he had yet to see anyone with even an ounce of fashion sense since his dad dragged them out here. When Billy went inside to meet the 'King' at the house party he expected a big football player in a school jacket.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Billy isn't surprised by much in this world but seeing Steve "The King" Harrington for the first time? Actually left him speechless for a few seconds.

The guy was dressed like a movie star who just walked off from a photo shoot. The guy leans against the wall sleek as can be all in black, a designer suit jacket over a fitted black tee. Pressed slacks that accentuate his long legs and slim frame. 

And the hair? Agents would snap him up off the street and beg the guy to do commercials seeing him like that. 

Billy struts up to the guy standing up in his space without saying a word. He lets the cronies he picked up after the keg stand do the talking. But what does the guy do? Calm as can be just slides his designer shades off his face and looks right back at Billy without saying a word.

His big brown eyes don't betray any fear, its clear this guy is used to being on top and won't scare easily. This is going to be so much better than Billy had hoped. Just as Billy feels a smile curve his lips they guy just walks away. Doesn't even say anything as he follows some prudish looking girl into the kitchen.

Billy watches as those expensive slacks hug Steve's hips and ass perfectly as he leaves and gets the first inkling of trouble. There aren't supposed to be guys like this out here in the middle of no where. 

It was all planned out, he'd keep his head down and survive just one last year under his dad's roof and then he'd be free. He never really even unpacked, has all the things he really cares about in the trunk of his camaro. All he has to do was not fuck up like he had in Cali and last through the school year and he'd be free. 

It was going to be easy. What sort of trouble could he even get up to in a small town like this? There should have been exactly zero of Billy's type here, but all through the party Billy feels his gaze being drawn to the well dressed man so out of place in a town like this. 

Fuck. 

He goes home that night riled up from the booze, the party, and most of all the thrill of 'King Steve'. Billy wants to know more, needs to know more. The beginnings of unwanted feelings stir in his gut, he feels that familiar tug of want and he feels disgust in himself. 

He hears the countless words his father has thrown at him, feels every blow against his flesh for his deviancy. His father has beat his hatred into him so that even someone as stupid as Billy can understand how wrong he is. 

Only took one final hospital visit for the lesson to finally sink in for good. Only took one slip up to learn the consequences of his actions could cost him his life, nearly already did once. 

Feelings can't be hidden away, can't be ignored, but they can be changed. Love and hate are so closely entwined, his father has proved that to him time and time again. It's so easy to turn want/love/like into disgust and hatred. Neil taught him to transform his pansy feelings into rage. After all, the only way a man, a real man, expresses feelings is with his fists. 

Bill already hates himself, hates the feelings he can't control. Billy is broken, born wrong: too much like his mother. He's tried so hard to be different, but not even being put in the hospital and being banished to the back end of no where can fix what is broken in him. 

The stirrings of want in his belly curdles and boils as it turns to hate. It was supposed to be safe here, he was so close to making it out but then Steve fucking Harrington had to exist.

*********

The hate and want war within Billy as school goes on. He hates his stupid hair as much as he wants to run his fingers through it. Every time the want takes the upper hand Billy gets rougher in gym, his words cutting deeper.

He pushes and pushes angling for a fight. Wanting nothing more than to kill the want that just won't die already, but the guy is either too scared or too cool to get a rise out of. If someone had said the same shit to Billy? They would have thrown down in record time, but not Steve.

Billy's lackey Tommy used to be Steve's lackey until Billy strolled into town. The guy is a bottom feeder through and through, but he knows things. About Steve. And he likes to share those things with Billy. 

Clearly the guy is butt hurt about being in Steve's shadow for so long and is eager to help Billy take him down a peg or two. Tommy is a special kind of scum that clings to the bottom of your shoe, and normally Billy would go out of his way to scrape the guy off but the want/hate inside him has him biting his tongue.

It pays off a week later when the three of them are showering after a particularly brutal practice where the old king was on the ground more often than he was up playing. Even Billy felt a little bad about knocking the guy down when he was already so low. 

"Don't sweat it Harrington, today is just not your day." Billy says in an attempt to get the other man to lose the serious expression.

"Yeah it's just not been your week." Tommy says from the other side of the shower with a cruel smile. "You and the princess break up for one day and she's already running off with the freak's brother."

Billy watches as Steve's eyes widen in surprise and his face pinches. 

"Oh shit. you don't know?" Tommy says with a mocking laugh. "Johnathan and the princess skipped yesterday and still haven't shown. But that just must be a coincidence right?" 

Steve lowers his eyes and turns away as Tommy laughs even harder in his face. That was low even for scum, Billy feels bad just being around for that. Just a little though.

"Don't take it too hard man," Billy turns to face Steve as he shampoos his hair. "A pretty boy like you has got nothing to worry about right." He lets his gaze linger longer than it should, grateful that the other boy has his eyes closed as he washes. "Plenty of bitches in the sea. Am I right?" 

Billy turns off the water before Steve can rinse out his stupid hair causing him to look at Billy for the first time in the shower. His eyes are tired, warn down, and defeated. Billy doesn't like it. He slaps a hand down against Steve's upper back, aiming for friendly but struggling to keep his eyes above the waist. 

"I'll be sure to save you some." Billy mutters as he walks away. He can't stay there alone with the other boy with his feelings in upheaval. He looked like a kicked puppy and not even Billy is fucked up enough to hurt someone already so low -- in fact it made him want to reach out, but that's too dangerous. 

So he left, he ran away like he always does. He can hear his father's voice echoing inside his skull calling him a pussy as he all but runs away from the skinny pretty boy. 

His hands shake as he gets dressed, he's afraid to feel pity for the pretty boy, afraid to feel anything. Only anger is safe to feel and he pushes and pushes those tender feelings that want out down, down, down into the ever present boiling hatred. He drowns them until the only thing he feels when he thinks of pretty boy's face is how much he wants ruin it.

*****************

Leaning against his camaro he chain smokes waiting for Max to get out of school. After two his hands stop shaking and he can relax his shoulders. By the third he finally catches sight of that big poof of red hair that can only belong to his step sister.

He watches her talk with a kid and he can tell by how she is holding herself she's upset. They must be closer than just classmates for her to be visibly displaying how upset she is with the young boy. Max is a little hellfire of a girl, but she's been under Neil's roof long enough to have learned to have a tight reign on showing her emotions. She normally aims for cool disdain, but the way she's waving her arms around? She's pissed and hurt.

Billy worries his lip as he watches her storm off from the kid. It's bad enough its a boy, don't need Neil getting it into his head that she's a slut. . .but even worse the kid is black. Probably from the only black family in the whole town. Of course his pain in the ass step sister would pick the single worst kid to make friends with.

Billy flicks his cigg away in annoyance as he mentally races through how he's going to handle this. He has to handle this here and now, before Neil finds out. It would be both of their asses if that happened.

"That kid you were talking to, who was he?" He asks trying to keep his voice level and calm.

"He's no one." She lies

"No one?" He presses his tongue against his teeth to keep the emotion out of his voice.

"Just a kid from class okay? Can we just go?" She begs quietly as she gets into the car. Billy watches the kid turn back to look at them, to look at Max and knows its trouble. It's plain as day the kid likes her, and the way she's dodging his questions? She probably likes him too.

Shit. This is worse than he thought, it would be bad enough if Neil caught his precious daughter talking to the kid. But if they dated? There would be blood.

Billy lights up another cigg making no move to start the car. He takes a long drag and blows it out the window looking anywhere but at his kid sister.

"Why was he talking to you?" He doesn't want to have this conversation, but what choice does he have?

"Just some stupid class assignment." She mumbles looking out her window. Neither of them want this conversation, there is too much baggage to it.

"Then why are you so upset?"

"I'm not." The anger makes her words tremble as the lie spills out her lips.

"He causing you trouble?" Billy asks praying she'll say yes. That she'll say the kid was bullying her, or teasing her or anything besides what he's afraid this is.

"Why do you care?" She turns to glare at him and his heart sinks. He was right, she cares for the little shit. That's going to make this so much harder.

"Because Max, you're a piece of shit but we're family now. Whether we like it or not -- meaning I'm stuck with you." He admits in his own way of caring by insult.

"What would I ever do without you." She spits out mockingly raising her fist up and Billy feels himself freeze for a split second on instinct. Hot shame and rage floods his system and he snakes out a hand and grabs her wrist to mask his fear with anger. He turns to look at her for the first time since they got in the car.

"Hey! This is serious shit okay?" Her expression changes from anger to fear. He's never hurt her, never grabbed her before. No one has. Neil has it in his head that the red headed lil devil is actually an angel and would never raise a finger to hurt her. God knows why not considering he never felt the same about Billy's mom and beat her until she up and left one day and never looked back.

Billy would be lying if he said he wasn't bitter and resentful of Max and Susan. They've never felt the sting of one of Neil's slaps, never had the pleasure of hearing the crunch of one of their bones breaking under his heel. 

Hell, they never even get anything but the absolute best from the man. Even his words and tone is kind and patient with them. It's cause Billy and his mom were broken, ugly inside. They deserved every smack, every slander. Billy knows how fucked up he is, how fucked up his mom must have been to have left her son with someone like Neil without even trying to take him along.

He knows this, but its still hard to not hate Max and her mother despite it. Especially hard to not hate Max when she's the one who nearly got him killed by Neil's hand back in California. If she hadn't been snooping. . .if she had kept it to herself. . .

"I'm older than you and something you learn is there are certain types of people in this world that you stay away from. And that kid. That kid, Max, is one of them." 

Realization lights in her eyes as she gets what they are not talking about. About why they had to leave their home and why her step brother gives a shit. 

The words come out like poison, and its plain to see how he really feels about 'those kind people'. How he feels about his type and the new friend Max made, and yet he still has to say it. He still has to make sure he gets the point across, this is life or death. Literally.

He can see in her eyes that she understands how serious he's taking it, but he doesn't see the fear of god in her eyes. She doesn't know of course, she only saw the after math, Susan was quick to get her in her room. She doesn't know, not really what Neil is capable of, what he would do if he found her with that kid.

He might not even like Max on a good day but they're family and Billy will be damned if he lets her learn this lesson the hard way. He lets more of his anger show through, he can feel the fragile bones in her wrist bow as he grips her too tight. He's got to make her understand.

"You stay away from him you hear me? Stay. Away." He squeezes her arm to drive his point home making himself sick to his stomach. Its one thing to get in a fight, its something else entirely to manhandle a little girl. To put the fear of god into someone he's supposed to care for. 

He stares into her bright blue eyes and can see the hate and fear warring within. He can only hope that its enough. He releases her and she twists away from him curling her body protectively around her arm. 

He did that. He hurt her, he made his hellion of a kid sister so afraid she didn't even argue back. It feels like he's lost something precious instead of won an argument and he hates it. Hates himself and hates his father for putting them through this. Hates that he feels more like his father in this moment than ever before.

He drops her off at the arcade and their normally icy relationship has dropped to subarctic. As much as he bitches about her, sliding farther back with her hurts. He didn't have a choice, it's for her own good. 

Its for your own good. Words his dad has said to him time and time again as he beat the shit out of him. Like it was painful for his old man to have to smack his child. Like he was the one who would have trouble sleeping at night trying to find a way to lie down that didn't hurt.

Like he was the one who cried himself to sleep nearly every night knowing how much of a fuck up and a disappointment he was to everyone. 

After he drops Max off at the arcade he drives to the edge of town and just parks in some empty field to think. 

Is this his future? Is he destined to turn into a monster like his old man? Someone who hurts people and tells them its for their own good? There is a small kernel of hope that maybe that means his dad does love him deep down. There is a part of him that grows larger every day that thinks the old man is right, has always been right and that he deserves it. 

He deserves it all and if he just learned it would be okay. That if he could stop being a disappointment that they could be a family. A real family. 

His thoughts chase one another in circles getting no where fast and leaving him emotionally exhausted by the time he has to go pick Max back up. He checks out his reflection in the mirror. He looks like shit, but he can't even muster up enough energy to care. 

He slouches in his seat, but not in a sexy way. He looks like he collapsed and just happened to land in his seat instead. He drives slowly (for once) until he arrives at the arcade. He parks out front and honks his horn. She should have been waiting outside for him considering he's at least 10 minutes late.

He watches the door for a few seconds until he sees it open and her walk out. Its dark inside the arcade but not so dark he can't clearly see the kid he told her to stay away from. That's just great.

He's not sure if he should feel pride that she stood up to him and did what she wanted anyway, or if he should be pissed about how this is going to play out later. He's just too rung out to deal with this shit right now. 

He half heartily questions and warns her about whats going to happen when she gets caught out in her lies but his heart just ain't in it. Not today. She looks at him funny when he gives up so easily, but doesn't kick a gift horse in the mouth as the hicks out here would say.

They drive home in silence, neither of them wanting to break the tentative peace. They even share a nice quiet meal as a family together that night. His father comments on how he's glad Billy's finally learned how to be an older brother and stop antagonizing his younger sister. 

Billy is full of 'yes sir's and 'no sir's. He is grateful when Max decides to keep her mouth shut for a change and not say anything scathing in front of Neil. She's probably afraid if she acts out he'll tell Neil about her new _friend_? 

It would be worse for him than it would be for her if he opened his mouth about that -- but Billy isn't going to tell her that. He could get used to dinners without being the butt of every joke with no recourse as has been their family's habit for the last few years. 

You see the thing about Neil? He was raised in a family that punished the older children for anything the younger ones did. It was their job to watch out for their younger siblings right? It builds character and lessens the load on the parents. So every time Max did something wrong? Well Billy got it taken out of his hide ten fold.

He is that much older than her and if he can't even keep his kid sister out of trouble he deserves every lick of the belt he gets. It would be too simple if they were punished evenly, after all Billy is nearly a grown man so his punishments should reflect on that shouldn't it? 

Learning from your mistakes, taking your hits and growing from it builds character. His dad is always telling him that, but with how many hits he's taken you'd think he'd be a good person by now. A stand up guy, but then again you can't fix stupid. No matter how hard Neil tries there is no changing that his son is an idiot who can't stop screwing up long enough to learn anything.

Just like now. He's already messed up with Max, she doesn't understand what is on the line here. She has no idea what Neil is really capable of. If he's nearly killed his own kid does she really think he'll go easy on one of those kids fucking around with Max? 

That kid would be found dead in a ditch or strung up in a tree as an example. He wouldn't put it past his old man, not that he wouldn't be dead in the same ditch if his father found out he let it happen behind his back.

Sleep doesn't come easy that night nor the next knowing the high stakes game Max is making them play. He can only hope that his dad's blind adoration of the little shithead keeps him from noticing she's hiding something. He prays that she'll be smart enough to be discrete, to not get caught like he did.

Although its not like she has someone looking out for her instead of having someone rat her out. That always helps. 

Billy hopes the guilt of what she did to him burns her up. He's petty like that, but it would make him feel a little better to see her torn up over it. To know that the same person she threw under the bus and ratted out not even a few months ago is the only one who has her back now.

Lil shit probably doesn't care though. She's at that perfect age where the entire world revolves around her and her problems. It's a nice thought though Billy thinks to himself as he lifts his weights. 

The doorbell rings while he's in the middle of a set. He counts two more and it rings again and again. He's going to kill who ever the impatient asshole ringing the door bell if he answers it now so he yells for Max to get it. She yells back at him angrily and gives him a death glare as she stomps by him.

Yup, she clearly doesn't give a shit. Was stupid of him to think that she might feel any remorse. He shakes his head and finishes his set as she deals with whoever is at the door. He then moves onto the bench press and finishes another set and she still isn't back.

Something isn't right. 

He stops and sits up. She couldn't possibly be so stupid. . .Could she? He slowly walks over to the door as the seconds tick by afraid of who he'll find on the other side. What he'll have to do to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Grabbing a beer and chugging half of it in a go he steels himself as he walks up to the door. He doesn't want to do this, but before he opens it Max comes back in quickly shutting the door behind her. She's got a good game face, he'll give her that. She doesn't look nearly so panicked as she should.

"Who the hell were you talking to?" She pauses a second too long before answering, that won't do.

"Mormons." Billy can't help but crack a little smile at that creative lie.

"Mormons?"

"Talkative ones." That's a little more believable and she shoves her way past him to go to her room. He waits until her door shuts before grinding his teeth and opening the door to reveal an empty porch.

If it were really Mormons they would been seen going door to door. That's the problem with a specific lie, look too hard at it and it falls apart. On one hand he's grateful to not have to scare the shit out of some innocent kid, maybe slap him around a little to sell it -- but on the other this just means he's putting it off. He'll have to do it one way or another if he wants to avoid a god damn bloodbath.

But that's a problem for future Billy. Right now he's going to worry about finishing his workout, taking a shower and getting dressed up for a night out. There's going to be a rager tonight for Halloween, he hopes that not even Hawkins can mess that up.

He's just finishing putting on the final touches to his hair when he hears a knock on his door and Susan call out his name. Generally she pretends Neil's son doesn't exist unless she has too, so even before his dad yells at him to open up he knows something is wrong. He stubs out his cigg and opens the door.

"What's wrong?" He asks more calmly than he feels.

"Why don't you tell us?" His dad says cryptically. 

"Because I don't know." He says a hint of his exasperation coloring his words.

"Because we can't find Maxine." Susan admits quietly.

"And her window's open," His dad adds and Billy's eyes go wide in shock. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Where is she?" His dad demands and Billy can't help as his hand starts shaking at his side.

"I don't know." Billy lies, but this father is used to seeing through his son's lies at this point.

"You don't know?" His tone is mocking, knowing. 

"I'm sure she just, I don't know at the arcade or something." Billy stumbles over his words as he back away into his room. "I'm sure she's fine." He grabs for his jacket, he already knows he'll be sent out to get her. He feels his dad follow him into his room standing at his back. He doesn't want to turn around and face him, he's a coward like that.

"You were supposed to watch her." 

"I know Dad, I was. Its-its just that you guys were three hours late and well I had a date so I'm sorry." Billy finally turns around to face his father. The jacket over his shoulders feels like armor, like if he just layers enough his father won't see through him.

"So that's why you been staring at yourself in the mirror like some faggot instead of watching your sister." He has his arms crossed over his chest, deceptively calm. 

"I have been looking after her at all week Dad!" Billy yells out his temper getting the better of him. He watches as his father's arms uncross and the facade drops away. He knows better than to raise his voice to his father, the sparkle in Neil's eye means he's going to get it for that so he just plows on. In for a penny, in for a dime.

"If she wants to run off than that's her problem alright?! She's 13 years old she shouldn't need a full time baby sitter. And she's not my sister!" 

He knew he was going to get it, but some how even after years his father is able to surprise him with how suddenly the violence comes on. Between one blink and the next Neil has him shoved up against his bookshelf his jacket in his fists. Neil just holds him there staring at him for a few heart beats. 

Its better when Billy doesn't expect it. If he's expecting the hit it won't sting as much, he can brace for it. Neil doesn't like that, not one bit. He's patient, willing to wait just long enough for Billy's guard to be down before he hits. Leaves a more lasting impression that way he says.

"What have we talked about?" He asks calmly without any tone in his voice. The sudden sting of the slap takes him by surprise and leaves him open for an upper cut that knocks the wind out of him. Neil grabs his chin tilting his head up so he has to look in his father's cold eyes.

"What have we talked about?" Neil asks him again in the same calm tone of voice.

"Respect and responsibility."

"That is right." His dad praises him in a mockingly prideful tone as if Billy were a little kid. "Now apologize to Susan."

Billy can see Susan standing awkwardly in his door from the corner of his eye. He knows better than to take his eyes off his father when he's being taught a lesson.

"I'm sorry Susan." He says to her while looking his father in the eye.

"It's okay Neil, really." Susan says awkwardly from the door way. 

"No, It's not okay! Nothing about his behavior is okay." Neil shouts back pointing in Billy's face. He's never even indirectly shouted at Susan before, he must be really losing his cool. 

"But he's going to make up for it." His dad turns back to face Susan and his voice has regained some of the false calm it held before his outburst. "He's going to call whatever whore he's seeing tonight and cancel their date." 

Susan drops her eyes unwilling to watch as Neil steps out of the neat little role he plays at in their home. Billy doesn't even know why they all do it but they do. They all act like nothing is wrong, that they all get along and are this neat little family. For Billy? The pretending never worked, but Max and Susan cling to it.

Neil raises his voice at the dinner table? No one bats an eye. They all pretend the marks on Billy are from fights, that he got them being a delinquent. That lie is so much easier to swallow than the truth that Neil takes pleasure in hurting his own son. 

"And then he's going to go find his sister, like the good, kind, respecting brother that he is. Ain't that right Billy?" Neil turns back to stare at his disgrace of a son who even now is tearing up from just a little slap. "Isn't that right?!" He yells getting up in Billy's face when he doesn't immediately answer.

"Yes sir." Billy whispers as his throat closes up. Neil sighs heavily and leans in.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you." Billy swallows and forces his throat to work.

"Yes. Sir." Neil nods accepting his reply this time.

"Find Max." His dad commands him simply before walking out the door. 

The second Billy watches his dad walk out of his room he stops holding back his tears. Boys don't cry, real men don't cry. Billy has learned the to never let his tears fall in front of his father, or else he'd really give him something to cry about. As if Billy need more reasons to cry with his life already so fucked up.

Billy covers his face with his hands as the tears fall down his cheeks. His father is in a mood now, there is going to be blood. It's only a matter of time and how badly it's going to hurt. 

And with how fishy Max was acting? Billy knows they're fucked, that he fucked up letting it go on. He should have just been a racist piece of shit like his dad and ended before it even started. None of this would have happened, he wouldn't be put in this position now.

He slaps his own cheeks to get his head back on straight. He doesn't have time to freak out, the sooner he gets Max home the less severe his punishment will be. Hopefully.

Its not more than a few minutes before he's gotten a hold of himself and he's peeling out of the drive way. He goes to the first place he can think of; Nancy Wheeler's house. Max had been hanging out with her younger brother in their weird little nerd squad. It's a decent gamble that he might find her there or at least get information to track her down.

When the door opens revealing as scantly clad Mrs. Wheeler it would not be an understatement to say Billy is surprised. Looks like Hawkins has at least one more person who doesn't belong living there. She is a 10, and not a 10 for her age. Straight up a 10. Billy can only imagine how out of the world she must have been in her hay day.

He pulls out all the stops charming the information he needs out of her. It's no hardship as she is easily one of the most beautiful women he's laid eyes on. One of the few women he finds himself being attracted to, figures his wires are so twisted up in his head that only pretty boys and hot moms twice his age do it for him.

Fucking hell.

He back burners the load of possibilities she might open for him in this shit hole of a town. He thanks her for her help and says he's see her later (and boy does he plan on it) and takes his leave. Once he's in his car he blinks away the curve ball she threw him and pulls out the directions she wrote for him.

He drives to the outskirts of the town and follows the windy dirt road up to the Byers house. He parks, turns off his headlights, and starts to get out of his car when he sees him.

Steve, fucking, Harrington. Fucking of course it is. Like this night isn't enough of a mess already.

"Am I dreaming or is that you Harrington?" Billy calls leaning against the hood of his Camaro.

"Yeah it's me, don't cream your pants." Oh, is that a hint of feistiness Billy detects in his tone? 

This is the first time the so called king has let even a hint of attitude out around him. It gets his blood pumping with just a peek. Billy takes his jacket off tossing it on top of his car, he gets the feeling his night has only just begun to get interesting.

"What are you doing here amigo?" Billy asks taking a puff of his cigg.

"I could ask you the same thing. . .amigo." Steve says as he approaches Billy maintaining eye contact the entire way. Pretty boy seems to have found his long lost spine after all. Billy don't understand why, now of all times, he's chosen to show it and its weird. This whole thing stinks of something weird.

"Looking for my step sister, little birdy told me she was here."

"Huh, that's weird. I don't know her." Steve looks down and to the right, what a terrible liar.

"Small, redhead? Kind of a bitch?"

"Doesn't ring a bell sorry." Christ he can't even look Billy in the eyes while he lies to him. Either he's never told a lie in his life or he's real shit at it. Either way Billy is feeling more than a little insulted that he's not even trying.

"You know, I don't know," Billy begins stepping closer up into Harrington's space, "This whole situation? It's giving me the heebeegeebees." 

"Yeah, why's that?"

"My 13 year old sister goes missing all day and then I find her with you. In a stranger's house and you lie to me about it." Billy doesn't have to fake the hurt on his face, he hates being lied to. Sure he's been a dick to the pretty boy, but he's never said anything untrue either.

Steve has the gall to laugh, to laugh! As if anything Billy said was funny? As if Billy is a joke?

"Were you dropped too much as a child or what?" Billy licks his lips and smiles at the fighting words coming out of no where from the pretty boy. "What did you not understand about what I just said? She's not here." 

Billy will give it too him, that lie was much more believable. He even managed to say it to his face this time. Too bad its too little too late.

"Then who is that?" Billy points with the lit cigg over Steve's left shoulder. 

Steve turns to look over his shoulder and finally sees what Billy had been watching the entire time out of the corner of his eyes while Steve lied to him. Steve mutters an "oh shit" as he turns back around to face Billy but gets shoved down on the ground before he can get his guard up.

"I told you to plant your feet." Billy reminds him again before kicking him in the stomach and stepping over the groaning man. 

He opens the door and the first thing he sees is Max standing next to Sinclair with two others from their nerd squad flanking them. The house they are in is a total wreck, but he doesn't take his eyes off of the boy even as he slams the door shut behind him.

"Well, well, well. Lucas Sinclair, what a surprise." He turns to look back at Max, "I thought I told you to stay away from him Max."

"Go away."

"You disobeyed me." His voice takes on the soft false calm Neil's does, the calm before the storm. "And you know what happens when you disobey me, I break things." 

He lunges to the side surprising everyone picking up Lucas by the collar of his jacket and carries him into the kitchen. He only stops when the kid's back hits a cabinet with a grunt. 

It hits him that he was just in this position not an hour ago, but in the kid's position. He really is just like his dad, but he doesn't want to hurt the kid. He just wants to scare him into listening.

"Since Maxine won't listen to me maybe you will. You stay away from her. Stay away from her!" He yells slamming the kid against the shelf again. "Do you hear me?"

"I said get off of me!" The kid yells out before bringing his knee up to slam right into Billy's crotch. The shock of the pain has Billy letting go and stepping back to catch his breath for a second before the shot of adrenaline kicks in.

"You are so dead Sinclair!" He yells out fully intent on paying that one back so he's taken by surprise when Steve gives him a rough shove from behind.

"No you are!" He yells out before hitting Billy with a mean sucker punch to the face. He really wasn't expecting that, he figured the pretty boy would take his licks and stay down. He lets out a laugh just this side of manic at the prospect of getting to know The King.

"Looks like you got some fire in you after all huh? I've been wanting to meet this King Steve everybody's been telling me so much about." Billy really is excited to meet the real Steve, he's even willing to just take that hit and call them even. That's not how it goes of course, it isn't. Everyone in this god forsaken town is crazy.

"Get out." Steve tells him. He has the audacity to tell Billy what to do?! That's not gonna fly, its only a split second before rage over takes Billy's face and he swings at Harrington. The kid surprisingly dodges the hit and lands one on Billy instead. 

Billy laughs as he feels blood drip from his nose. He wipes at it and turns back for more and pretty boy doesn't disappoint. He lands two more solid hits to Billy's face and the blood flows faster from his nose.

Billy doesn't like pain, not really. But pain from a fight? It's infinitely better than just taking a beating from his father. With Neil he can't fight back, he just has to take it and try to remain composed. But here? Now? He can let all his pent up rage out on this unsuspecting pretty boy. 

His laughter goes a little crazy, he can see it in the way Harrington hesitates with a worried expression instead of following up his last hit with another. Big mistake.

Backed up against the sink his fingers don't have to reach far before they find a plate. Billy wastes no time slamming it into the side of Harrington's head. It's a cheap shot, but life ain't fair and the sooner everyone realizes it, the better off they'll be. 

The kids are all yelling and screaming around them as Billy takes full advantage of the dizzying hit he landed with the plate. He lands a nasty right hook that sends the skinnier boy to his knees. Grabbing the so called king by the collar he hoists him back up by his jacket.

"No one tells me what to do." Billy spits out in Steve's face before slamming him with a head butt that sends Steve straight to the ground. Billy plants a kick into his ribs forcing Steve to roll over onto his back. Billy straddles his prone form and slams into Steve's pretty face with his fist.

Again.

And again.

And again.

All the impotent rage he has built up from his run in with his father, the bitter hatred of Steve existing in this town as temptation, and the self hatred come out as Billy loses control. Hit after hit into that pretty face with his fists, wanting to destroy something so beautiful for tempting him to sin.

A black rage over comes him, he's more like his father than he's ever been before in this moment. He has a total loss of control, its not about Steve hiding his sister, its not about him being a temptation anymore. It's not about anything. He just wants to hurt and destroy someone, anything in reach in this moment.

He's never hated himself more but he won't stop. Can't stop. In the back of his mind he knows there are children CHILDREN watching him beat someone to death in their own home. He knows from experience just how much this will fuck them up.

How much it's fucked him up, and yet he can't seem to stop. Steve's head rolls around limp after each blow, he isn't even conscious, no fight left in him. At this rate he really will kill him, he really will become his father and there is nothing he can do to stop himself but that is when he feels the sharp stab of something into his neck.

He turns in slow motion to see Max, his own sister with the syringe still in her hand from where she stabbed him and his mind blanks. She lets go and steps a few paces back as he finishes turning and stands up. His fingers reach and pull the syringe from his neck. He stares at it in confusion still reeling from the effects of the blood rage that had over come him.

He takes a stumbling step forward and his vision goes blurry. What ever she stabbed him with it works fast. 

"The hell is this?" He asks her taking another step forward even as she takes another step back. "Shit what did you do?" He tries another step forward but loses his balance and fall backwards onto his back next to where Steve lays motionless. Billy's head lists to the side as he looks at Steve and starts laughing.

The irony of ending up beat by his kid sister of all people is too much for him. She really is something special to be able to stand up to someone so much stronger and bigger than her. She's braver and tougher than Billy and he knows it. He never had the balls, nor the wits to stand up to his father, but skinny little Maxine had no problem putting him down for the count.

He's still laughing at how much of a wimp he really is to be beaten by his little shit of a step sister when she picks up. . .Is that a bat with nails driven through it? Jesus what is with these kids? She holds it ready to swing as she glares down on her pathetic excuse for an older brother.

"From here on out you leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?" She asks him with her voice impressively calm and steady.

"Screw you." He says without feeling out of habit.

She slams the baseball bat down hard between his legs startling everyone in the room, most of all Billy. The nails dig into the hardwood floors dangerously close to his goods. He looks down with no small amount of horror at what she nearly did. She then rips out the bat and has it at the ready again.

"I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" She screams out at him face twisted in rage. He's never seen her like this before, sure she's always been mouthy but not like this. "Say it. SAY IT!" She screams at him even as the room grows dark and her face blurs before his eyes as whatever she injected him with takes full effect.

"I understand." His voice is gravelly, barely there. Both from whatever the hell is in his system and the habit of responding to screamed commands from his father for the entirety of his life. 

"What?" She asks so he repeats himself more clearly even as his eyelids droop more than half way closed. "I can't hear you. Say it." She demands once more. 

Clearly she's taken a page out of his father's book on how to deal with Billy. Maybe she hadn't turned as much of a blind eye to when his father would get on him as he previously thought. Well if that ain't a bitch.

He repeats himself once more as clearly as he can but already the world has gone black. Maybe she'll smash him with the baseball bat while he's out, like he had messed up Steve while he was out like a light. He'd deserve it, deserves everything he's ever gotten. His last thought before he loses hold on consciousness is how grateful she stopped him before he hurt Steve in a way he wouldn't be able to come back from.

****************

Billy wakes up with a loud groan of pain what must be hours later. He blinks open his eyes and looks around in total confusion. He has no idea where he is or what truck ran him over to have him feeling this way. He stares up at an unfamiliar ceiling then lets his head fall to the side to see even more unfamiliar and strange walls. There are weird drawings taped all over the walls and floor of the room he's in.

Just where the hell is he? He feels hung over but doesn't even remember drinking. His forehead wrinkles as he tries to piece together what could have brought him to wake up after having passed out in some crazy person's house. 

He remembers getting ready for the rager. . .did he go and end up here somehow? No that doesn't seem right. He struggles to make his brain work for once in his god forsaken life. He rolls over onto his side and can see dried blood on the hardwood floor nearby. He feels regret and shame when he sees it but why?

It comes back to him in a rush, his father ordering him to get Max, him hunting her down which lead them to the Wheeler's crazy house and finding no one other than Steve The King Harrington himself with the brats. His stomach churns as the memories of what he did, what he almost did to the guy come back to him.

Fuck.

He really lost it, truly lost it last night. He almost killed a guy, a good guy. Probably the only guy in this shit hole of a town who stood a chance of escaping and making something of himself out in the real world, and he almost put and end to it. Would have if it weren't for Max.

As soon as he thinks about her his heart starts thundering in his chest as adrenaline floods his system. Shit he needs to find her, what time is it? Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He tries to sit up but the room spins around him still under the effects of whatever she stabbed him with. This isn't good, this is as far from good as things can get. 

He needs to find her, NOW. He curls his hands into fists at his side and slams them into the hardwood floors hoping the pain will help him get control back over his body. He pounds his fists into his thighs and focuses on the pain, lets it center him. It still takes a few minutes before he manages to stand.

He tries to take a step forward and ends up falling into a book shelf. He leans heavily against it for a moment blinking against the spots that fill his vision until they recede. 

Billy ends up needing to brace himself along the wall as he half walks, half stumbles out of the house. Taking a moment to catch his breath as he leans against the porch he sees something, or rather doesn't see something that makes his blood run cold.

The Camero is gone.

Panicked his hand struggles to reach into his pocket but the keys are gone. 

Max. Max must have taken them when he passed out. Taken the one thing to his name, his one means of escape from the hell that is his life at home under his father's roof. He slides down the banister on the porch as dread fills him up.

The first rays of light are already peaking over the horizon, it's too late. His father will kill him for not only failing to bring her home but losing the Camero on top of it. Tears slide down his face as all the remaining hope for the future dies in his heart.

He's dead. He can't go back, and he can't run away. Max made sure of that. She as good as killed him herself by not coming home with him, by taking the only fail safe Billy had in case things went too far south with his father.

Time passes by Billy as he gets trapped in his own head. His thoughts cycle through all the possible ways this is going to go from this point on and none of them end pretty. He's trapped in indecision, he can't go back without her or to find her already home on her own -- and he can't stay away, he's still a minor and in this hell hole of a town where could he even hide?

Can't live in the woods like a loner, he'd die in a week without any of the skills needed to live off the land. He's got no one he could turn to, he made sure of that when he pissed off or beat up anyone and everyone who could stand a chance of helping him. Can't turn to the police, they'd just turn him over to his father. 

Still as a statue he sits there, his breaths coming in too fast, too shallow as a panic attack hits him. He's well and truly fucked. No way out, no way forward. His eyes are open wide but he can't see, can't hear. Trapped watching scenario after scenario play out in his head of what will happen to him. He doesn't want to die, he's a coward through and through. 

'Savemesavemesaveme' He begs in his head but he doesn't even have anyone to ask to save him. He's alone, always so alone. No one will come in like a white knight to save a piece of trash like him. The world wouldn't miss him, wouldn't even notice he's gone. Hell, a lot of people would be glad to hear he's gone, no one would look into his death.

Why would anyone care what happened to the angry bully who picked on kids and went out of his way to hurt someone as beautiful as Steve Harrington of all people? Why would Max mourn the asshole step brother she never wanted? The same one who threatened her and treated her like trash on a daily basis?

A sort of calm over washes over Billy as he accepts his fate, as he accepts that its nothing less than what he deserves. Everything his father has been telling him for years was right, he's worthless. He truly accepts it for the first time, and you know what? He feels pretty okay about it.

It's much easier to accept it instead of fighting against it. He's just so tired of fighting against the world, when he realizes that he's been wrong this whole time it feels like the crushing weight that has been his companion for as long as he can remember is lifting off of him for the first time. It feels like the first time he can breathe, really breathe in his life.

The panic fades out of his system as he makes his decision, the only decision he really has left. It's what he deserves, it's how he knew he was going to go since he was a little boy and woke to find his mother had skipped town without him. This was always going to happen, he was a fool to try and fight against it.

A ghost of a smile curves his lips, at least this way it will all be over. No more suffering, no more sleepless nights, no more wishing he was dead -- because he will be.

He stumbles to his feet, makes his way over to where his jacket lays after being carelessly tossed to the ground and puts it on. He feels better with it's weight on his shoulders and thus he begins the long walk back to his father's house. He takes in the sights of the forest, the smells on the wind and the growing light around him and truly appreciates them for the first, and what will be his last time. 

This shit hole of a town, as he is fond of calling it, ain't so bad when he looks at it now. It's quiet and peaceful as he walks along the long winding roads. He was the one out of place messing it up for everyone else, too angry, too broken. Well, soon they won't have to worry about Bad 'ol Billy no more. They can get back to their little lives hidden away from the real world and its real problems.

It'll be a better place for everyone when he's gone, just like his father has been saying his whole life. Once he's gone who is going to piss off the old man? Susan and Max can have their perfect family for once without him there to make it awkward. No more pretending everything is fine, it will be for real soon. 

It's for the better, Billy tells himself, he was a stubborn fool to try and fight his fate for so long. And what did he get out of it? A few high octane fucks? A bunch of wild parties? Going to bed every night in fear and pain wasn't worth it. He should have just got this over with sooner.

None of that was worth living this hellish life, he'd trade every moment he stole away to find peace. 

After walking for what feels like at least an hour he turns on his street and can just make out his father's house on the end. His hands start to shake and his heart thunders in his chest. His feet root to the spot and refuse to take another step. He stares and stares at the house that will be his end and all the pretty words he had been telling himself about how this was going to be okay, that this was for the better -- they leave him like so much smoke in the wind.

He reaches into his jacket and pulls out his pack, one left -- perfect. He lights it up with shaking hands and takes a deep, long drag. As the nicotine hits his system it calms his nerves. His hands begin to stop shaking and the fog of terror in his mind fades to the background. 

"Won't do any good to fight it, might as well go out with one last fight." He tells himself as he smokes and continues walking the rest the way up to his father's house. His camaro is parked all jack knifed in their driveway, he takes the time to walk around it and have one last look at his baby before he faces the music. There is no obvious damage to it from what he can tell, at least there is that small mercy.

Maybe Maxine will take it, maybe it'll be the one damn good thing he'll be able to do for her instead of making her life hell. That or his dad will sell it, the thought of that makes him angry but he shouldn't care right? He'll be dead and gone it'll be none of his business, but the thought of his one possession that mattered being sold off to rot in someone's lot bothers him.

Taking the last drag off his cigg he turns away from the car and stares at the house. The lights are on which means everyone is awake by now, his dad already waiting in his chair for his worthless son to come home. Billy flicks his cigg into the front yard, his one last act of rebellion before he squares his shoulders and walks up the drive way.

Before he can even reach for the door it opens and there stands his father. All the courage, all his bolstering falls in the face of his father, his worst nightmare, standing before him with barely contained rage boiling behind his eyes. Bill takes a step back unconsciously but his father matches him step for step letting the door shut behind him. 

"I thought I told you to find your sister." His father's calm voice has an edge of barely contained fury to it. "I thought I told you to cancel your date and find her." Billy backs up until his back hits his dad's truck but his father keeps advancing until he's right in his face.

"So why is it that she comes home hours later driving your car with a story of you getting too drunk and passing out so she had to drive herself home?" Oh good, she remembered how to deflect suspicion onto someone else. It's not like Billy will be any less or more dead but at least she'll be safe for a while longer. 

Billy feels the familiar need to say something stupid rise up in him, and for once he doesn't even try to fight it. What does it matter after all?

"Well you see, my date was smokin' hot there was no way I was cancelling on piece as fine as that." Billy says without his voice shaking, somehow able to get the words out smoothly as if he weren't asking for it. The fire in his father's eyes becomes an inferno and its all the warning Billy gets before a fist is hitting his face.

The shock of the hit sends Billy reeling and falling back onto his father's truck, but a rough hand grabs his open jacket by the collar and pulls him off of it. 

"What don't want to get your perverted son's blood all over your all American truck?" Billy spits out earning another hit to the face and one to the stomach knocking the wind out of him.

"Shut your mouth." His father whispers angrily into his ear his hot breath burning Billy's cold skin. 

"What don't want the whole neighborhood to hear you beat your piece of shit son to death on the lawn?" Billy laughs out between sucking in air from his abused lungs. It earns him a knee to the stomach which does manage to shut him up and knocks him to the ground.

His father bodily drags him across the driveway by his arm and collar while he's still trying to catch his breath and can't fight back. Not that it would do any good. His father opens the door and drags him through into the living room and tosses on the floor like so much garbage.

Billy lies on the floor for a moment holding his ribs while his father looks down on him angrier than he's ever seen him before. His father is always towering over him, gets a real kick out of knocking Billy down where he belongs and gloating over him. They've done this song and dance a thousand times before, so much so that whenever Billy is eye to eye with his father it doesn't seem right. He's too used to seeing him towering over him.

"As if you weren't enough of an embarrassment now you want to try bringing in other people in our business?" His father demands. "What do you think would happen? Do you honestly think anyone would care what happens to a piss ant like you? Are you enough of a fairy to believe someone would come to your rescue?

"No one would look twice or care about seeing another burnt out punk dead on the road and you know it. So no, I don't want them to be bothered with having to see me punish my good for nothing son who should never have even been born. You were a mistake, a curse from your whore of a mother.

"She wasn't good for anything but a quick lay, and I've been paying for that sin your entire miserable life. The bitch should have taken you with her, but I guess you were even too much for the whore to deal with."

Rage at his father's cruel words against his mother flood his system even as his own hatred for his mother abandoning fill him up. His eyes shine with unshed tears, a wound that will never heal. Billy pulls himself up into a sitting position his arms wrapped protectively around his ribs.

"I've tried to get you on the right path, lord knows I've tried to beat the devil out of you. Tried to cure you of your perversion but nothing gets through that thick skull of yours no matter how hard I try to beat the lesson into you." His father advances on his prone figure and stares down at his son with disdain coloring his features.

"I should have left you in a ditch in California. Just another faggot rotting by the side of the road that no one would even miss. Heaven help me I let Susan talk me into bring the whole family out here away from temptation in hopes that you could be saved. We uprooted the whole family for your ungrateful ass and this is how you repay us?" His father's voice rises along with his fists which he sends slamming into Billy's unprotected face again and again.

The room spins around him as he gets knocked around and falls back. His arms raise to protect his face but that just leave him open for a few nasty kicks to the ribs. He feels one of them crack under his father's boot and he tries to curl in on himself to protect it but his father just changes targets.

Billy cries out as a boot hits him dead center in the spine sending a shock wave of pain through his system and has him arching his back. He is left bleeding on hardwood floor for the second time in so many hours. A stray thought cuts through the pain as he realizes he really did come full circle today.

It all began with his father knocking him into his shelf and him running off and nearly beating Steve to death at the weird family's house. Now he's the one who is going to be beat to death on the floor, cause ain't no one coming to save him. He's too much of a piece of shit to deserve that.

A bark of laughter escapes his lips at the irony. He nearly killed someone last night, it's fitting that he should go the same way. At least he'll go out without that on his conscious, he may be a lot of things but a killer ain't one of them. 

"You think this is funny?" His father's voice is deadly calm, deceptively so. Neil grabs him by his collar and lifts him up so that they are face to face. "You think this is funny boy?" He demands, Billy gives him a wide bloody smile in response.

Big Mistake.

Neil's face contorts in rage at his son mocking him to his face for the first time. For once Billy sees the hit coming but his head is too fuzzy from the hits earlier to do more than watch as it comes for him. A nasty left hook that sends him sprawling back to land flat on his back.

Just like earlier in the night his father straddles him and rains down blow after blow to his face. His head makes loud thunks as it bounces off the floor from each hit. His vision is blurred as he looks up at his father but all he can think of is that this is what it must have been like for Steve when he was hitting him.

A mad man letting their rage out on someone who is already down for the count and has no plans to stop. It would be terrifying, should be but Billy can't stop laughing. 

It's a mad, desperate man's laugh and he knows it. It echoes in his own ears sharply, he hangs onto the sound, any sound that isn't fists hitting his face or his bones breaking under his father's assault. 

"STOP LAUGHING!" His father screams into his face, but that only makes Billy laugh harder. He's never gotten this much of a rise from his father, he's always kept his cool even when he was beating the shit out of his son. 

Maybe it's the fact that he isn't cowering like he's supposed to, maybe it's the disrespect, or maybe he's just sick of seeing Billy's face. But whatever it is it sure is affecting Neil, the clam front he's always showing is no where to be seen. His face is red and his veins are bulging on his temple.

Now he looks like the kind of guy who would enjoy beating his 8 year old for crying when his mom left him. Now that's the face a monster who abused a mother and made her fear for her own life so badly that she would leave her kid. 

It feels good in a perverse sort of way to finally see the monster underneath his father's skin come out. He always knew it was there, no matter how much he was told and told himself that he was the problem and his dad would be normal without him around. . .now its plain to see who his father really is. 

If he gets to die knowing that at least there was no helping this, that no matter who he was this would have always happened? That's just fine by him.

Billy spits blood into his father's face, choosing that as his last act in life. Maximum disrespect, kind of his thing.

Neil stops his assault and wipes the blood off his face with a hand as Billy grins up at him unrepentant to the bitter end. Neil's eyes go cold and his expression of rage fades away until the calm mask is back in place.

"I'm going to do what I should have done years ago. Then we'll see who is laughing." Big hands wrap around Billy's throat and a wave of panic rushes over him. He's been burnt, kicked, wiped and everything under the sun but his father has never strangled him before.

The blood in his veins turns to ice as he realizes this is it. The hands squeeze his throat and try as he might he can't get a gasp of breath in. He starts to flail in earnest but his father's weight on top of him keeps him down. His hands grab at Neil's wrists trying to pry them off his throat but he's too weak.

Always too weak.

His vision starts to tunnel as the lack of oxygen gets to him. Billy's eyes are wide, begging for this to not happen but he cannot speak. Neil's cold eyes stare into his own with not once ounce of mercy as he strangles the life out of his own son. It's worse, so much worse than Billy thought it would be.

To have someone stare you dead in the eye as they take your life? To not see even a small flicker of remorse or care in the one person who should have loved him? To know beyond any shadow of a doubt that his father had never, and would never have loved him?

He thought he would be beat to death and lose consciousness somewhere along the way, that he wouldn't have to see death coming and look it in the face. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 

He's a helpless 8 year old all over again, crying and begging deaf ears to stop. Not understanding why he's being hurt like this, not understanding why his life is like this. Not sure why he deserves it, why fate would be so cruel to have him born broken into a family that would hurt him. 

His world narrows down so all that he can see is his father's eyes and his own reflection in them. The last thing he sees is his own bloodied face mouth twisted in a silent scream reflected in those cold eyes before his world goes black and he knows no more.

*****************

A rhythmic beeping pulls Billy from the darkness. He doesn't understand what the sound is for a long time, doesn't understand why his entire world is darkness. His mind floats somewhere between asleep and awake for a long time until memories slowly start trickling in. He remembers a floor and a bloodied face.

Was it Harrington's or his own? Both seem right and wrong at the same time. The pain comes next, he remembers a lot of pain -- but his life is so full of pain it's hard for him to tell if it was new or old he's remembering. He can count the nights he went to sleep without pain on one hand after 17 long years of life.

Slowly his senses start returning to him, he feels drugged. . .drugged. . .was he drugged before this? Something about that seems familiar, Maxine's face pops into his head unbidden. It niggles in the back of his mind that the two are connected but he can't connect the dots.

His mouth feels like something crawled in it and died, he tries to swallow but the sharp pain shocks his eyes open for the first time. Bright white light surrounds him hurting his eyes after them being closed for who knows how long. He tries to swallow again and can feel something inside his throat and he gags around it. 

The once rhythmic beeps turns erratic and a shrill alarm starts going off as he struggles to get whatever is stuck down his throat out. There is a sound of someone rushing into the room and Billy sees a woman in a white uniform rush over to him, a sight he's seen before.

She starts talking to him but he can't understand her. Can't think beyond fighting the urge to vomit knowing he'll choke on it. Her tone is soothing as she tries to calm him down and pulls his hands away from his face. Another person comes into the room with a syringe in hand. Billy tenses in fear but the woman just keeps up the soothing words while the man injects him with it.

He tries to beg them but with can't manage more than a pathetic whimper that the woman just shushes away. She pets his hair and tells him it's going to be okay and just this once Billy wants to believe it, but the darkness takes him away again before he can finish the thought.

*********************

The next time Billy wakes up his hands immediately fly to his face to check if there is anything there but blessedly whatever was shoved down his throat is gone now. The drugs that knocked him out last time have long since faded from his system and he feels more alert than before.

Without the fog clouding his mind he remembers everything. He remembers almost killing Steve, then in turn almost being killed by his father. . .But he doesn't remember what happened after. Shouldn't he be dead?

Why isn't he dead? He saw the look in his father's eyes, he knew he was going to die. There is no way Neil had a change of heart, so why is he still alive?

Billy looks around the room and can see that he's in a hospital room. Again. He's been in and out of hospitals half his life, but never the same one twice and never under his own name. Whenever Neil would take his punishments a little too far and ended up having to take Billy in after "fighting" he made sure Billy would keep his mouth shut.

His hands go to his throat and gently explore it, still tender to the touch and it feels like he's swallowing broken glass but at least he can breathe and there is no tube in there making it worse. He lifts up the thin blanket and sees they wrapped his ribs, he runs his fingers over them wondering how many Neil broke this time and how badly they are broken but there is no way for him to tell just by poking. 

Definitely more than one though, he can be certain of that just with his memories of crunch sounds from where Neil's boot got him just right. He spends the next who knows how long taking stock of his injuries and wondering how Neil is going to spin this one when the nurse in white from earlier walks in.

"Oh you're awake." She says with a surprised smile, Billy opens his mouth to respond but all that comes out is a raspy 'hhhhh' that sends him into a coughing fit that leaves him in tears from the pain. The nurse hands him a small paper cup of water and helps him to drink it since his hands are shaking so badly from the pain. The lukewarm water is heaven to his abused throat, he wants to drink it all in one go but she forces him to take small sips, says she doesn't want him to over do it and vomit it back up on the floor.

He nods in understanding, if coughing was this painful he doesn't even want to imagine how bad puking would be. She refills the small cup and smiles approvingly at him when he limits himself to a small sip every so often until it's gone. She takes the empty cup from him and tells him to lay back against the bed to which he complies not having realized he had gotten half way out of it when the coughing fit had started.

She starts checking and rattling off his vitals which go over his head but she tells him they are looking good when he gives her a questioning look. She then tells him under no circumstances is he to even try to speak for another week while his throat heals. 

"I don't care if Hopper says he needs a statement you keep your lips sealed shut tight else you won't heal right and no one wants that. You got that?" She has her hands on her hips and a no non-sense expression on her face but she reaches out to smooth hair back from his eyes. Her tone gentles as if she were speaking to a little kid rather than a good for nothing 17 year old punk, "You're safe here and no one -- and I mean **no one** is going to make you talk until you're good and ready."

Billy blinks rapidly as his eyes water, he doesn't know what's going on, how Neil spun this but for one brief moment he wants to hope that the bastard has finally been caught and that this is it. That this is the end to their little dance, the end to the vicious cycle of hurting and being hurt.

She brushes the lone tear that escapes down his cheek away and whatever hold he had on being manly, being tough is ripped away from him. The tears start coming and they don't stop, not for a long time. 

But she doesn't leave, doesn't yell, doesn't hit him for being a pansy. Instead she pulls up a chair and sits at his bedside brushing his hair and whispers meaningless soothing words until he eventually calms down. His last thought before exhaustion pulls him back under is wondering if that's what a mother's love and touch is like.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Said this chapter would be getting into season 3 but that would be rushing things so probably this one and the next will be the inbetweens of his recovery before season 3 madness. :D

The next few days pass in a haze as they keep him on a high dosage of painkillers in his IV drip to help with his impressive list of injuries. The nurse, Marilyn, gave him a miniature white board and marker to communicate with and the first thing he wrote down was asking how bad it was. 

"Two broken ribs, three more that have hairline fractures, dislocated collar bone and jaw. You chipped two teeth, but luckily the were savable. Trauma and bruising around the neck and there was some swelling in your spine, but the good news is that it has gone down so we don't believe there will be any last damage to your mobility." She lists off with clinical detachment before letting out a sigh and rubbing at her eyes.

"You were in really bad shape when they brought you in." She tells him honestly, "The officer who responded to the 911 call found you dead on arrival. He had to do CPR to get you back with us and keep going until the paramedics got there and took over. Once they got you to us your vitals were so weak we weren't sure you were going to last the night."

Fuck. He really did kill me. Billy's eyes widen, does that mean Neil was the one to call them then? Did he see his son dead by his own hands and feel regret? 

Billy's hand shakes as he tries to write out his next question, he never had pretty hand writing but what he scrawls on the white board is barely legible to his own eyes. He turns the board around and holds his breath while he waits for her to read it.

**who called**

Her face is pinched and it's clear she is fighting with herself on deciding the best way to break the bad news to him. 

"Your sister Maxine was the one who made the call, I don't know any more than that." Billy bites his lip, he hadn't expected that answer, but he never really expected it to be his father.

It makes more sense it would have been Max, she was on a roll stopping murders after all. 

"Whenever you're ready you can talk -- well talk with the whiteboard anyway -- with an officer if you want to know more." Marilyn tells him, "We have an officer posted outside your door 24/7 for safety, all you have to do is push the call button and let me know." 

**I'm not going to hurt anybody you don't need the cops**

He writes out angrily, how would they expect him to do anything like this? He can barely get half a breath in with his ribs wrapped so tightly. 

"Oh honey." Her voice is full of sadness as she takes a seat next to Billy and reaches out for his hand. He glares at her outstretched hand for a moment before he gives in. He lets the marker and board fall out of his hands onto his lap and she wastes no time in grabbing his hands with her own. 

"They aren't here to keep you in, they're here to keep you safe." 

Oh.

"I may not know all the details but I know what abuse looks like, you weren't in no fight. Someone beat the hell out of you and you don't look the type to get bullied so it's easy to put two and two together." Billy's heart thunders in his ears, he's never talked about it. Couldn't. He's never even heard anyone mention it before, it's just not something people think about or talk about.

Out of sight, out of mind. He's been in and out of nurses offices his whole life with bruises and scrapes from his father's hand and while he might get an odd look they always took Neil's explanations of boys being boys and getting into fights at face value. Why would they look any deeper than that?

It was no one else's business but the family's and if they had different ways of raising their kids? That was their right. Billy had always assumed when he was growing up that other families were the same because how would he know any better? He couldn't talk about it and no one else was.

It wasn't until Neil met Susan and they got married and little Maxine joined their family when he saw how different it was with her and her mom. And her and his father. The difference was night and day, where he would get yelled at and smacked around for a bad grade little Maxine would get nothing but kind words of encouragement to do better next time. At first he assumed it was cause he was a boy and men needed to be shown tough love to grow up into big strong men like his father. . .but that wasn't it at all.

If it was why would his father have hit his mom so long ago? He never even raised his voice to Susan, instead he lavished her with gifts of fine jewelry and expensive clothing and always spoke highly of her beauty. 

Why was she deserving of any better treatment than his mother? Was what his father said about her true all along? Was she really that bad of a woman, that bad of a mother to get treated that way? 

Billy had rationalized it, after she _had_ left him with nothing more than a short note. What kind of a mother would do that? He always hid his belief deep down that it wasn't true, that he wasn't worthless just because he came from her despite what his father said, but he never once gave voice to it. Too dangerous.

"He won't hurt you again." Marilyn's voice startles Billy out of his thoughts drawing his eyes back up to look at her. There is such tenderness in them, and sadness. It hurts Billy to see that expression on another person's face and know it's for him. That someone actually gives a shit about him, more than just pitying looks from class mates about his 'dad being a hard ass' or from Susan after a particularly biting remark from his father.

He can't stand being pitied, has started more than one fight over a look like that cast his way over the years. He isn't some weakling needing pity from anyone, and he has proved it time and time again with his fists. Marilyn doesn't look at him like that though, instead she genuinely seems to care.

Why she would care for someone like Billy, a stranger with a bad rap? He has no idea, maybe it comes with being the nurse for a small town, because the nurses at the big hospitals sure as hell didn't give two shits about him whenever he was brought in. 

"I don't know your story, and frankly I'm under qualified to deal with someone in your situation -- But I do know this: No one deserves to be hurt, I don't care what stories you were told to make you believe it, to have you hide it -- they were lies." Her eyes beg him to believe her even as the sad twist of her lips says that she doesn't expect him to. 

At least not yet.

***************

It's not until two days later when he starts to go completely stir crazy and the need to know what is going on is too much for him. He hits the call button and doesn't have to wait long before Marilyn is strolling into his room. He holds the board up for her to see, she gives him a long searching look then nods and turns around and goes back out to talk to one of the mysterious cop stationed outside his room.

She is gone for only a moment before she comes back in.

"Their calling Hopper in, he wants to deal with this personally, don't give me that look. I know he's a big bear of a man, but his bark is worse than his bite. I know for a fact he's a big softie under it all. You have nothing to worry about, we're all on your side here."

She checks up on his vitals and hums happily before leaving to get him a change of bedding and new...he hates to call it clothes, considering its more of a sheet with ties. When she returns with the items she helps him walk over to relieve himself, something is very grateful for.

Using the bed pan is one of the most humiliating things he's had to do in his life. Leaning his weight on her surprisingly strong body as she half carries him to the restroom is way less shitty. When he's done he taps on the door to signal her and she helps him back to the bed with fresh clean sheets. 

Hospitals aren't designed to be comfy, but not laying in sheets soaked with his own sweat is a nice change. She even gives him the illusion of privacy to change into the new hospital gown. 

One thing he will say is that despite how awful it is to wear, it's super easy to get in and out of on his own even with limited mobility. He can't hardly walk on his own without gasping for air but at least he can tie the strings around himself. He gives her a thumbs up through the privacy curtains to let her know he's done before she pulls them back.

She asks him if he wants her to stay and wait with him or if he'd rather be alone.

**I've taken too much of your time go help someone else** He looks at what he wrote then quickly scribbles on an added **thanks** after realizing how rude what he wrote sounded. She smiles at him and agrees to leave, but not before she makes damn sure he knows that if he pushes the call button she'll come back and kick out anyone in the room no questions asked.

He ducks his head unused to someone going so far out of their way to help him. Maybe more people would have looked out for him if he didn't bite their heads off first thing. He waves his hand for her to wait while he writes and erases half a dozen things on the board before shrugging and turning it over for her to see. 

**Hope you are still this nice when I can talk again I'll try to behave ;)**

That gets a good laugh out of her, its the first time he's heard her laugh and she has a nice one. He winks at her and resolves to make her laugh again when he can talk. He may be a faggot but he has a way with women that puts all the straight men he's ever met to shame. Getting one sweet nurse to smile and laugh? Piece of cake.

She leaves the room with a smile on her face and Billy takes it as a win. If nothing else goes well today with talking to the Chief at least he got a smile out of the one person who has shown him kindness in longer than he cares to remember. He lays there thinking up what he's gonna 'say' to the cop, what he's going to ask and be asked in turn.

To say he's not looking forward to this? That would be an understatement, this is going to suck royally but the not knowing is eating him up inside. He'd rather get it over with and face the music than be stuck in limbo not knowing how bad he'll have it off when he gets released.

Neil didn't have a change of heart, but he's still the only blood family he has left. Billy doesn't even know if his Mom is even alive, there was never any word from her after she left in the dead of night so long ago. If she gave a shit about him he'd have heard something by now wouldn't he? Or was she too afraid of Neil to even reach out by a letter or a phone call? Billy couldn't blame her too much if that was the case, if he were free of Neil he'd never look back.

So what the hell happened between him being choked out and waking up here? Marilyn said it was Max who called, but there is no way she stopped Neil right? 

But then again she nearly got him in the goods with that twisted maniac-made baseball bat so what does he know?

Susan was polite and all, never made it worse for him when Neil was getting on his case. Not really anyway. Billy shakes his head, no she is the perfect picture of the quiet house wife. There is no way in hell she stood up to Neil, let alone intervened on Billy's behalf of all people.

So what gives?

His cycling thoughts are interrupted when there is a knock on his door announcing a visitor. Billy tenses and sits up straight as he can in the bed clutching the white board and marker in his hands until his knuckles go white.

Time to face the music.

In walks Hopper, the chief of police of this small town. Billy has seen him in passing but never up close and the nurse wasn't kidding when she called him a bear of a man. He's huge in a way few people are, and while he's let himself go its clear just from the way he carries himself that he's got a thick layer of muscle under his dad bod -- and he knows how to use it. 

He's got a scruffy beard and his face is set in a frown when he walks into the room turning to close the door shut behind him quietly. When he turns around Billy can see a sad kindness in his eyes, but he doesn't know what that means for him yet. The big man walks up and pulls up Marilyn's chair, as Billy likes to think of it, and takes a seat. The young teen in the bed hadn't expected that, he's used to police taking positions of power and authority whenever they can and standing tall over everyone else.

The chief takes off his hat and sets it aside on a nearby table and sort of deflates in the chair. Awesome, that's a bad sign if there ever was one. 

"Hello Billy, you probably know who I am already but I guess I should introduce myself." His voice is rough, that of a life time chain smoker. "I'm Hopper, or the Chief as people like to call me. I know you've been through a lot, probably more than I even know but don't worry the spitfire of a nurse you got already warned me she'd take my balls if I bothered you any."

The way he says it with a small quirk of his lips breaks some of the tension in the room and Billy feels his shoulder relax a tiny fraction. 

"So. . ." Hopper begins with a long exhale, "I guess I should start by asking you how you want to do this. I won't pressure you none, but if you want to talk--" Hopper looks at the white board, "Right no talking, that's just fine by me. I'm used to talking to people who can't talk back so good. Anyway, what I mean to say is if you have questions you can write them on your little board and I'll answer." There is a heavy pause before Hopper continues.

"Or, I can tell you everything I know and then if you have something to say, no write I mean, just raise your hand and I'll stop and wait. Or if it's too much I don't want you to feel like we have to get this all done today." Hopper rubs at his eyes with a hand. "I have someone in my life who has been through hell, not unlike you and I know at least a little bit of how hard it can be to open up or even hear it. So I guess. What I'm trying to get at is no pressure. Take your time, I'm the law around here and if I saw he's gotta rot in a cell for the next year while we figure this out ain't no one gonna question it."

Billy's jaw drops open and he just stares at the man sitting by his bed for a long moment. He had expected to get blame pinned on him what with his rep and all. Not that he doesn't deserve it with what he did to Steve. What he almost did to him when he lost control. 

But to hear that the Chief of freaking police has his back on this?! That, at least for now, he's safe from Neil? Honest to God safe for once in his life? It makes him want to cry, he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes right now but he won't cry. Not now, not in front of the cop. He's got to be a man about this.

It takes him time to collect himself, but the cop never looks impatient, instead he has an understanding look on his face whenever Billy chances a glance. Taking as deep a breath as he can with his wrapped ribs Billy pulls the cap off the marker and moves it across the board with a surprisingly steady hand.

**What happened after?**

He can't write it out, can barely even think about how he almost died so after what goes left unsaid. As if he could be asking about anything else. Billy turns the board around for the cop to read and his face goes more serious. Like how a cop's should be, more professional and less caring.

"We got a call at the station from your step sister Maxine in a panic saying Neil was trying to kill you and that he went completely crazy and we needed to get there now as you weren't breathing. She told the operator that Neil was strangling you and when she tried to get him to stop he back handed her." 

Billy sucks in a sharp breath shocked to hear Neil would hit her. In all the years of her acting out he's never even raised his voice. Why now? After all these years would he change like that? Was it because she was out all night, was it because no one was supposed to stand up to him? 

Or did the bastard just need a new punching bag since he left his last one dead on the ground?

"Apparently after she was struck Susan stepped in started a verbal altercation with Neil that lasted long enough for Max to run out to your car and grab the baseball bat from your trunk." Billy's face scrunches up in confusion, he doesn't have a -- 

Oh. That bat. Jesus Max.

"Don't worry, we left out the part that the bat had nails through it out of the report." Hopper says with a slight shrug, "When she got back into the house, let's just say Neil got knocked out cold and leave it at that. Whether or not he had to have stitches in unmentionable places I cannot comment on it past the bastard got what he deserved."

Shit, way to go Max! 

"Once Neil was made no longer a threat Susan had Max call us and we sent out an ambulance and luckily since I was close by I was able to make it on scene before the paramedics. . . " Hopper scrubs a hand over his face before resting his chin on his hands so that he's looking up at Billy. His eyes are so sad, as if he cares, as if it's hard for him to say these things. It's not like Billy is anything to him, it's not like he's his family to worry about -- and yet for some reason he cares anyway.

"You were in real bad shape kid. I thought we were gonna have our first murder in Hawkins in a century when I got on scene. You were a right mess and not breathing, had to do CPR on you for a good five minutes until the professionals arrived. I've seen some shit in my day, but never someone--just a kid, laid out like that from his own father. You almost didn't make it, honestly didn't think you would make it for a while there." Hopper offers the scared teen a small smile and his eyes shine with something Billy has never seen directed at him before.

Pride.

"But you're strong, real strong kid. You managed to pull through despite the odds, despite the shit hand life has dealt you. I'm real proud of you for surviving where others wouldn't have. It takes real bravery to get up in the morning everyday when you live in a house like that, don't let no one tell you otherwise. Just living and breathing -- not giving up despite the ugliness in your life? You're amazing kid."

Billy looks away, he can't look at him anymore. He squeezes his eyes shut as Neil's voice yells at him from inside his own head about how it's all lie. That he's worthless and would never amount to anything, that there is nothing he should be proud of. So what you managed to not die? Good job, here's your medal for being no better than a fucking hard to kill cockroach. 

The words he's most wanted to hear for so long and he can't believe them, won't. The cop can't know how shitty of a person Billy really is or he wouldn't be saying shit like that. He's broken, wrong, and full of unholy perversion. If the cop knew who Billy really was he wouldn't be on his side and Billy knows it. He'd be like all the others who turned a blind eye, who respected the way Neil dealt with having a pansy of a son.

Sure the cop side of him might frown upon his methods, or how far Neil took it, but he'd think Billy deserved it if he only knew. A sick and twisted part of Billy wants to confess to liking men, just to wipe the fake expression of misplaced pride and care off the cop's face, but he knows if he did all his hopes of being free from Neil would be gone and buried -- just like he would be when Neil gets out of jail.

So he keeps his mouth shut, pushes the urge to tell the cop what he really is down, down, down and locks it away like he does with so much of his personality. It's a shit personality anyway, who would like a faggot who cries all the time and just wants to be held? He should have been born a girl, he'd have been better off, at least it would make sense but life ain't made of rainbows and fairy tales.

Billy tightens his jaw forcing himself to pick back up the whiteboard from where it had slipped from his fingers in surprise earlier. He writes and erases what he wants to say a few times before he settles on being direct. It's never steered him wrong before.

**What happens now**

"Well, when you're ready we'll need your statement about the incident. We already got statements from Max and Susan about it and they shed some light on the circumstances leading up to it -- but your's is the one that matters most." Hopper reaches out slowly and rests his hand on Billy's knee making it twitch from the contact. The teen can count on one hand how many people have touched him, reached out to him without malice on one hand.

The angry defense mechanisms he's learned want him to brush the hand off and pretend he doesn't want it, doesn't need it -- but he does. He wars internally with himself for a moment before his shoulders droop and he accepts the kindness for what it is. 

Maybe it's this hospital and him laying broken and pathetic in the bed that make people want to be kind to him. Or his inability to open his mouth and ruin it, or maybe it's just the near death experience making him weak. Whatever it is the strong tough guy front he's been clutching onto for the last who knows how long is crumbling and there ain't anything he can do to stop it.

"Now I know that couldn't have been the only time something like that has happened." Billy's knee tenses under the cop's large hand. "I asked around discretely, ain't gotta worry about your rep, and you are known to be a bit a of a punk always getting into fights and coming into school with bruises and black eyes."

Hopper takes in a deep breath and fixes Billy with a serious look that sets his heart hammering in his chest.

"But the strange thing about that is, no one can say that they've ever seen you in a fight. Save the thing with Steve, but that's a whole other thing we're not going to worry about okay? Anyway, no one else has shown up to school sporting black eyes. That story might have worked in bigger cities but here in Hawkins? Everybody knows everybody so who were you fighting? I don't believe for a second that you were driving out of town to pick fights, no one else has been given cause to look into it so they buy the story but I don't.

"I should have looked into this sooner, I should have done my damn job and asked why the new kid was always looking rough around the edges but I didn't. Maybe if I had this wouldn't have happened. I got caught up in my own shit and you, one of MY people, got hurt and nearly died cause of it. 

"All I can do is my best to help you from here on out and beg for your forgiveness. A child should never be hurting like you have been. Yeah, I know you want to say 'I'm not a kid' can see it in your eyes -- but you are to me. One of my kids. And you were hurting on my watch and I turned a blind eye just like the rest of the people who have failed you in life.

"I'm sorry, I'm so god damn sorry it took a right mess like this to see it. To see you. Been hiding in plain sight all along if anyone gave enough of a shit to look and no one did. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry, this never should have happened but it did. But if nothing else I can promise you that bastard will never touch you again. I'll make sure of it.

"Personally." His voice is deadly, and God help him, Billy believes him. He believes the fantasy, the one dream he's always wanted to come true and it breaks something inside him.

A tear slips out, and then another. Before long he is crying like the scared kid he has always been. The big burly cop looks at him a little helpless for a moment before Billy feels big strong arms wrap around him. Despite the man's size his touch is gentle and oh so careful around Billy's laundry list of injuries. 

Billy clutches onto him like a drowning man. All pretense of being okay, of being a man are out the window and he can't find the energy within himself to even care. He buries his face in the larger man's chest and lets his tears soak the man's uniform, but if the cop cares? He doesn't say anything other than the same sort of nonsensical murmurs of 'it's going to be okay' that the nurse had done for him when he first woke up.

He doesn't know how much time goes by before he calms down and cries himself out. He's used to crying himself to sleep at night, but never in front of someone else. It feels weird and awkward when he pats the larger man's back and lightly pushes against him to signal he's done.

What's the protocol for crying your eyes out on a grown ass man? All Billy wants to do is let sleep take him, he's too strung out and his throat hurts from the hiccuping breaths during his breakdown to stay awake anymore. The large cop moves back and Billy is stunned to see the man wiping a few tears from his own eyes.

Everything Neil had said about real men not crying, about him being a good for nothing pansy -- it was a lie. It has to be if the god damn chief of police cries. Billy may have never properly met the man before but the word on the street is the man is a total hard ass and tough as nails despite his gut.

The small ball of burning anger that never goes out in Billy's stomach flares up as he thinks of how much he's hated himself for being a pansy because of what Neil taught him. To find out it was a lie? That it's okay for men to cry, normal maybe even, it makes Billy furious. What else was he lied to about? 

As quickly as the anger comes it goes away just as fast. He sorts of deflates on the bed letting himself fall back onto the pillow with all his energy drained. He'll have to worry about that shit later, he can't deal with anymore shit right now. He looks over to Hopper who gives him an understanding smile and picks back up his hat and replaces it on his head.

"I think that's more than enough for today, just have Marilyn call for me when you want to talk more. Speaking of her, please don't tell her I made you cry else she really will take my balls and I've kind of gotten attached to them over the years." A small quirk of his lips is all Billy can offer Hopper in thanks for breaking the serious mood. 

Hopper stands and moves to leave but stops at the doorway and turns back around and gives Billy a long look before nodding and walking out the door. It shuts with a soft click behind him and with that sound whatever strange power that was keeping Billy awake disappears.

He lets out a long shaky breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding and feels no small part of the weight on his chest lifting. Not all of it, he'll never be rid of it all, but just enough so he can breath again. Well, as well as one can breath with a bunch of broke ass ribs anyway.

Blue eyes slide shut on their own, too heavy to keep open anymore. The room, the world, and all it's problems slowly fade away in the darkness as exhaustion pulls him under into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the week he's got left of not being able to speak flies by, he's got so much on his mind that between one blink and the next it's over. Marilyn gives him the all clear to talk as long as he is careful to not over do it and drinks small sips of water all through out the day. 

"Thanks Marilyn." He speaks to her for the first time and his voice is destroyed and too quiet. If feels as if he is whispering and he hates it but at least he can talk now he guesses. She gives him a bright smile that soothes the ache in his abused throat.

"So glad to be finally hearing your voice, and don't worry it'll go back to normal given time -- as long as you don't over do it and follow my instructions to the letter." She warns him with a playfully stern voice and a wag of her finger.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am." Billy gives her a salute earning a quiet little laugh. Still got it. 

On and off through the day they talk a little bit to work out his speaking muscles. He asks about her day, and if there are any other hellions taking up her time. She laughs and smiles often as Billy pulls out all the stops in sweet talking her. 

When he goes to sleep that night with a sore throat he can't help but think it was all worth it. She made sure he didn't over do it but even using it at all was hell. He's used to going to sleep in pain, but for once in his life the pain was worth it. He'd feel like he swallowed razor blades every night with a smile on his face if it was the price for brightening the sweet nurse's day. He ain't had a mother in his life for so long he can't hardly remember what it even feels like. . .

But he imagines it might be something like this. Warmth, safety, and kindness. Things he's yearned for but has forgotten what they really felt like. It's nice, really nice -- but it makes him worry, makes him scared that as soon as he gets something nice it'll be taken away. 

It always does. Briefly in Cali he was happy, he met a guy, a guy like him. They were both wrong in the same way, but they found each other and held one another in the dark on stolen nights. Billy had always known he was wrong but never acted on it before, but with Antonio he did. 

Sweet, beautiful Antonio. They met at a club and when their eyes locked they both knew without saying a word. Billy was scared at first, had no idea what he was doing but Antonio was always so patient, so gentle with him.

It was heaven, Billy had never felt so happy in his life as he had those few months that he had with Antonio. They stole away in the night, neither of their families could know, but that didn't stop them. Some nights they spent dancing at clubs, others slow dancing in alleyways hidden by the shadows. Antonio opened his eyes to a whole world of new things, of sinful pleasures and Billy loved every moment of it. 

Neil didn't pay him much mind during that time, too busy with his nice, well paying job and perfect new family and didn't mind that Billy wasn't around to remind him of his past sins with Billy's mother. It was a good time for everyone, Neil, Susan, and Max got their perfect little family and Billy got to enjoy a life of sin with Antonio. It was perfect.

Or it would have been if little Maxine hadn't gotten it in her head to follow Billy as he snuck out one night to meet with his lover. She saw them kissing and ran back to tell the family the good news that 'Billy got a secret boyfriend!'. Billy didn't even know he had been followed, he thought it was going to be business as usual when he came back at 3 in the morning planning on sneaking back in through his window.

Neil was on the porch with a beer in hand waiting for him. For one brief moment Billy thought about just running away right then and there, but he'd been around long enough to know what kind of fucked up shit happens to kids on the street, even ones who think they're tough like him. He'd be dead or worse inside a few weeks and he knew it, so instead he went to face the music. 

It would just be another night of being smacked around, he could handle that. He's had worse, and all he did was stay out past curfew his punishment shouldn't be that bad.

"So you really are a faggot." Billy's blood turned to ice in his veins at the cold flat words that came out of Neil's mouth. He should have ran, would have if he had known.

That was the first time Billy had nearly died by Neil's hand, would have if Maxine hadn't started crying and made Susan step in. Maybe the little shit hadn't meant to get Billy beat half to death with her 'big news' and snooping but the end was the same and he never forgave her for it.

After that their relationship went from distantly polite to icy and explosive. He shouldn't have been so hard on her, she was just a damn kid and didn't know any better but he couldn't help it. He lost more than he ever knew possible that night, his time with Antonio was over, his few freedoms gone. He became no better than a princess locked up in a castle for a few months before Neil uprooted the family to move to somewhere more 'God fearing' for his sinful son.

Just like his happiness was ripped away then he fears it being taken away now. Sure the cop says he has his back and Billy wants so much to believe him but he's seen first hand how shit life really is for people like him. The outcasts, the deviants, those who society likes to pretend don't exist. So what if Neil isn't in the picture anymore? He's still a minor and ain't no way anyone is gonna wanna take a punk like him in even for a few months until he's 18.

A small town like this wouldn't even have a foster care place, not that any would take someone as old and as fucked up as Billy is. He can't stay in the hospital forever, hell Marilyn is saying they want to keep him only another week or two to make sure his throat is healing properly then have him come back for check ups on his ribs. 

What happens to him when he's released? Susan sure as shit isn't going to take him in, and the thought of going back there. To where he died. Where he was beaten senseless too many times to count. It makes his stomach turn. He can't go back there, he'd never sleep and be too scared to breath too loudly around them afraid that they'd kick him to the curb.

No, that won't work at all, so what then? 

With that in mind he calls for Marilyn and tells her he's ready to talk to Hopper again. She gives him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder in support knowing full well how hard it will be on him. It's not much but it means a lot to the scared teen. She leaves him to get the ball rolling and Billy sits on the bed and tries to not freak out.

He tells himself its going to be okay, just get this over with and one way or another he'll know. It feels like forever before Hopper is once again walking into his room. He looks tired, worn out, and ready for the day to be over even though it's not even noon yet. Billy wonders what could be going on in Hawkins to make him look so strung out, there can't be that much going on in a small town can there? 

Or maybe it's to do with Billy, yeah that's more likely. With a quiet small town like this he's probably gotten used to not having much to do, but with the attempted murder. . .

Billy shakes that thought from his head as soon as it comes. He still can't really deal with it, he just hopes he can manage to answer all the questions without having another breakdown. 

"Hi Billy." Hopper says taking his hat off and holding it in his hand.

"Hi." Billy says softly, voice barely above a whisper. "I can sorta talk now."

"I can see that, and boy is it good to hear you speak." He says it like he means it but Billy doesn't get the heavy emotion the guy says it with. Something is going right over his head, but that ain't nothing new. "Does that mean you're feeling up to giving your statement today? If it hurts too much or gets too hard there's no shame in only doing some today and more another day. Don't push yourself, you've been through hell."

"My life is hell, ain't anything new to me." Billy says with a shrug, aiming for a joke but the truth of it makes it fall flat.

"Alright, so how about we start with that night. Can you tell me how it all began?" Hopper asks with a notepad and pen at the ready to write down notes even as the tape recorder starts running.

"Sure but you ain't gonna like it." Billy admits with a shrug, no way to tell this without talking about beating Steve to hell. But that's one sin he'll gladly pay for, he deserves everything he gets for what he did to him. 

"It all started with Maxine going missing, I was supposed to be watching her but she snuck out under my nose to go hang out with the nerd squad as they call them. Well, Neil wasn't too happy when he found out about that, smacked me around a little and told me to go find her." Billy stops to take a drink of water unused to speaking for so long at one time.

"Does he smack you around often? And what do you mean by smack around, can you be specific?"

"You know a shove, a little slap here and there. A couple of punches. Wasn't anything serious, just to teach me a lesson about respect and put me in my place for being mouthy. I've had worse, didn't have to get stitches, a bone reset, or nothin'." Billy says with a shrug no emotion in his voice. He feels strangely detached talking about it, like his emotions are all shut off. Like he's talking about someone else.

"Okay so would you say, God this is rough, how often would you say he 'smacks you around' as you put it?" Billy shrugs one shoulder as he looks at his hands.

"I don't know, few times a week? Been a while since the last bad one. It's all been small stuff, more scary than painful."

"When was the last bad one?" Hopper's voice is as soft as his own with how quiet and gently he asks it. Billy is silent for a long time trying to get the words out but he can't so he just shakes his head.

"I can't--" His voice breaks just to get those words out. 

"It's okay kid, you don't gotta say. I know we just started, but let's take a quick break." Hopper says stopping the recording and setting the pad down. "Can you walk around yet?" The random question confuses Billy out of his cycling thoughts causing him to look up at the big cop with a confused expression.

"I have paced this room a few times if that's what you're asking."

"Well not exactly, you haven't seen the sun in what over a week? Let's go take a walk outside get you some fresh air. It'll do the both of us some good."

Billy hadn't wanted to even think about anything outside the four walls in this room, everything out there is a bad time waiting to happen. He's safe in here, but it's not like he can turn down the cop, not if he wants to stay on his good side anyway so he shrugs and gives the big man a nod.

Hopper helps him out of bed and takes most of his weight as they walk together towards the door. Hopper reaches out and grasps the door knob when Billy's hand flies out to stop him without conscious thought

"Wait." He begs, suddenly more afraid of opening the door and facing the outside world than he was before. "Sorry, I'm being stupid." He knows ain't nothing going to change whether or not he walks out that door but even so he's afraid. Always so afraid.

"We don't have to if you don't want to, but it might make the day seem a little brighter to see the sun." Hopper leans down close to Billy and conspiratorially whispers in his ear. "I know you haven't had a smoke since you got here, what if I stood close to you while I did so you could at least get a wiff of it? Marilyn would murder me if I actually gave you one with how your throat is, but we could sneak it. What do you say?"

Oh god just the thought of a smoke has Billy has suddenly antsy. He's been craving a cigg so badly what with all the stress of nearly dying and all. 

"Deal." He says now excited to go outside for all the wrong reasons. 

"Thought so." Hopper says smugly, but nudges Billy's shoulder with his own to let the teen know he means it well. 

It takes them a good 20 minutes to get outside, what with how slow they have to go with Billy needing to stop every so often to catch his breath and the bargaining they have to do with Marilyn to be let out without her there to watch over them like a hawk. Hopper has to swear on his mother's grave he won't give Billy a smoke twice before she agrees unhappily.

She gives them both a full power guilt trip listing everything that could go wrong if he does something stupid like have a smoke at this stage of his recovery before she sends them on their way. It's so much that Billy feels bad that they are going to get around it but not so much that he isn't going to still do it though. He's been through hell and he thinks he deserves at least a little something right?

They slowly hobble out of the hospital and Hopper gives him a look before he pulls out a cigg and lights it up. Billy sways even closer into the older man's space as the scent hits his nose. Something about it instantly calms his frayed nerves, he's not even inhaling much of it as the man smokes next to him. 

Billy's fingers are itching to hold a cigg of his own, but he promised. Hopper has an apologetic quirk to his lips but Billy understands. He should be the last person in town to assist in corrupting the youth and breaking the rules. . .but it doesn't stop him from casting a look around before he blows a cloud directly towards Billy.

The smoke is thick, the other man must not have inhaled it himself, just saved it up in his mouth. Billy breathes it in deep, as deep as he can anyway. The second it hits his lungs he can't help but let out a tiny sigh of pleasure. When he reopens his eyes, not having realized he closed them in the first place Hopper is full on smirking down at him. 

"What? It's not like you wouldn't be jonesing for a taste if you had to go a week without." Billy says grumpily, Hopper holds up his hands.

"I'd be a lot worse than you kid. You getting no judgement from me, sorry for smiling but your face was the picture of bliss just from the fumes."

"You know what they say, it always tastes sweeter when you aren't supposed to have it."

"Ain't that the truth." Hopper agrees with a nod before taking another drag and sharing the cloud with Billy. It should be weird, and it is. Sharing a smoke like this with the chief of police? Who would have thought it, not Billy that's for sure. 

There is a tickle that spells trouble in his throat before even half of the cigg is ash so Billy steps away from Hopper and takes a seat on one of the nearby benches. He looks up at the bright blue sky and the handful of fluffy white clouds that dot the sky and feels like he's dreaming. Maybe Hopper was onto something when he suggested to the teen to get some air, being cooped up in that small room for over a week can't have been good for him.

He nearly forgot what it was like to be outside those walls, and outside his own head. He turns to look around him at the town that seems so quiet and peaceful, like it always does and it helps to banish the darkness of that night. Looking out there now it feels like it must have been a nightmare because there is no way something so horrible could happen in such a quiet little town.

Billy watches cars drive past and wonders what the people inside are heading off to do. Maybe it's lunch break and they are heading to their favorite dinner, it's around that time. Billy wonders what the people inside would think if they knew what happened not that long ago. 

Would it shock them? Something so violent and awful happening in their perfect little community would be sure to cause an upset. Billy wonders how many of them would down play it, most he thinks. That's what people like to do with something is too awful for their sheltered little minds to handle. 

'Attempted murder? Surely you must be exaggerating, it was just a punishment that went a little overboard. Nothing like that could happen here!' Billy can just imagine it, the looks he'd get for "making it up" or "making it sound worse than it really was". He's heard it all before a thousand times, the one's that really get to him though are the ones that assume he must have been asking for it. That he did something awful enough to deserve it.

Those one's hit too close to home and what his -- what Neil would always tell him. More than half the time he thinks he did deserve the hits, he should know better than to be mouthy by now after all. The other half he gets angry, so very angry at the world and everyone in it.

Why should everyone else get to have nice, happy lives and he doesn't? Why does he always have to be the one getting shit on? 

The bench bows as Hopper's weight sits down next to Billy dragging him from his thoughts that always seem to default to darkness if he's not distracted. It's a beautiful sunny day, he's had a wiff of smoke, and he has the chief of police watching his back. He should be happy, or as close to happy as he can get, but he can't help but find the bad in everything.

Maybe his brain is just so used to everything being terrible that it won't accept anything good now. Like he's a stuck record, always replaying the bad things, wallowing in it. Driving and loud angry metal were his go to's to get out of the cycle but he's got neither now. Aside from Marilyn he doesn't even have visitors to keep him distracted, not that he's surprised no one wants to visit him. He's been an asshole to nearly everyone in his life so he's just reaping what he sowed. 

The large cop's shoulder brushes against his own, Billy knows it's on purpose but the guy doesn't make a big deal of it. Doesn't even look at Billy with his eyes on the skyline instead as he silently offers his support. If Billy leans into the contact a little, neither of them mention it.

He focuses on the solid presence at his side and it keeps him grounded. Keeps him from spiraling down and let's him hear the quiet chirping of birds for the first time since they stepped out. They sit quietly not saying a word for a long time just enjoying the sounds of life around them. 

"Thanks." Billy says after a long time and most of his tense muscles have relaxed. 

"Any time kid." 

They sit for another minute or two before Billy feels like he owes it to the other man to get this over and done with. He's been more patient and understanding than Billy could have ever hoped for, the least he could do is not waste the man's time any more than he already has so he stands up and they slowly make their way back to Billy's room in the hospital.

Once Billy is back on the bed and Hopper has the tape running again they continue.

"Right, where did we leave off?" Hopper mumbles to himself as he looks at his note pad before continuing. "So he 'smacked you around' as he put it and sent you off to find Maxine, is that right?" Billy swallows his throat suddenly dry again, but he pushes on.

"Yeah the old man told me to find her so I started with the Wheeler's place, guess that sort of the unofficial nerd head quarters or something but they weren't there. Mrs. Wheeler was home and told me they had all gone to the Byers's place and she gave me the address so I drove off to go find her."

Billy goes quiet for a long moment, he sips at his water to give himself time to get ready for the next part. The part that will damn him.

"Well when I got there I saw none other than Harrington-- Steve." Billy licks his lips, "We've sort of, shit I'll just say it right out. I've been an asshole to the guy since day one but he's never took the bait, too cool for it I guess. Well that night he grew a spine from somewhere and we got into it. I saw Maxine watching us through the window but for some reason he was pretending he didn't know, he lied.

"I hate when people lie to my face, so well. I sucker punched him and went inside. Thought that would be it, I'd grab Max and go. Turns out the whole squad was there including Sinclair-- Lucas. I had seen her hanging around with him before and warned her off, wouldn't be good for her to be seen with someone like that."

"What do you mean by 'someone like that'?" Hopper asks his voice devoid of inflection and Billy knows he's already treading water.

"Black." He answers simply with a shrug, "Neil don't care for them, I got nothing against anyone personally. Would be a hypocrite if I did after all, but anyway I knew it would be bad if his precious lil Maxine was seen with him so I tried scaring him off. Say what you will about those nerds they are braver than you'd think. Little shit kicked me right in the balls." Billy says with a laugh and a shake of his head.

"Was gonna teach him a lesson about hitting people stronger than you, but in came Harrington from out of now where and he got me right in the kisser. Good solid hit, didn't know he had it in him. We traded blows but a pretty boy like him is a lover not a fighter so I was winning. Badly."

Billy's throat constricts and he has to take several drinks before he can go on.

"I was on top him, ironically how my dad was on top me later on. It's kind of poetic in way ain't it? Well I was beating the hell out of him, lost control just kept thinking about what my dad was going to do to me when I got home and since I could never fight back against Neil? Well I took it all out on Steve. He wasn't even conscious anymore but I couldn't stop, but luckily Max did it for me.

"Never been happier in my life when she stopped me from becoming a monster just like the old man. I had been slipping closer and closer to it recently and I hated it. Hated myself for what I was becoming, but her and her scary ass bat put an end to that real quick."

Billy eyes the tape recorder and debates mentioning the drug she injected him with but ultimately decides not to. She don't deserve any extra flak for what she did to help Steve. His eyes flick back up to meet Hopper's and he knows the older cop saw his slip and will know he's hiding something but he can't do that to her.

"Well I got knocked out cold for a few hours and when I woke up the creepy house was empty and the camero was gone. Realized I was fucked real quick and decided to go face the music. Pops was waiting for me outside, smacked me around and dragged me into the house and really started to let me have it. Fists, boots, the works ya know? 

"Well as he was on top of me like I was on Steve earlier I sort of thought it was funny I guess? Like poetic justice and how the night went full circle right? Well anyway, I was extra mouthy, figured if I was gonna die anyway might as well at least say what I wanted to for once. That was a bad idea, he beat me well and good. Just slamming my head with hit after hit. Should have heard the sound of my skull bouncing off the floor, man it was loud. Must have been the same for what I did to Steve, although he was lucky to be knocked out for that part I guess. Anyway, Karma's a mean bitch. 

"Well I said something I shouldn't have and-and he-he told me he was going to do something he should have done years ago." Billy stops and takes a drink with shaking hands, his emotional detachment from telling his story flies out the window. Too fresh. He takes a few minutes to get a hold of himself before he goes on.

"When he put his hands around my throat I panicked. Sure he hit, kicked, and threw me around before but never tried t-to strangle me. I-I couldn't breathe, I couldn't fight back or even beg. I just -- I just laid there as the room slowly went dark knowing I was gonna die and that this time? No one was coming to save me."

Billy lets out a hollow laugh.

"Guess I was wrong since I woke up here, little Maxine came through one more time being the hero is so many hours." Hopper is quiet for a long moment as he scribbles notes on his little pad before he speaks up.

"Thank you Billy, that should be all I need about the incident but if you're feeling up to it can I get a little on your home life? Was it just Neil doing the abuse or did Susan help?"

"Fuck no! You kidding me? Susan is the picture of the perfect meek little house wife, she never once even raised her voice." Offended on her behalf Billy shouts too loudly and it sends him into a coughing fit. He struggles to breathe between coughs and each gasp of air feels like needles along his throat. Hopper tries to hand him a cup of water but his hands are shaking too much to take it. 

The cop bring the cup of water to his lips and helps him take a sip, which he coughs out before he can even swallow but the next attempt goes better. The cool liquid soothes his inflamed throat and puts a stop to his coughing fit. He's just starting to be able to breathe normally again when Marilyn comes rushing in shoving the larger man away so she can check on her patient.

"What did you do? I thought I told you to be nice to him!" She yells at Hopper who shrinks back away with his hands up in surrender.

"I'm sorry I didn't know that question would be bad."

She opens her mouth to give him a piece of her mind but a hand on her arm stops her. She turns around to look at Billy who shakes his head and gives her an O.K. sign with his hand and then pointing at the chief. She throws her hands on her hips and huffs in annoyance glaring daggers at the apologetic police man before turning back to Billy and examining his throat. She hums approvingly with a nod.

"It doesn't look too bad considering, but you gotta be more careful okay hun?" She says gently to Billy a 180 from how she was spiting fire at Hopper. "You feel the need to shout? Next time push the call button and I'll come in at yell at him for you got it?" Billy can't help the smile that over takes his face, she's a hell of a woman.

"Yes Ma'am." He says quietly afraid to hurt his throat anymore than he already has. She turns back to Hopper and pokes him right in the chest with her finger, the way the other man looks at the offending finger you'd think it was a loaded gun.

"And you are going to be more careful aren't you?"

"Yes Ma'am." He says with a nod, she gives him a long look before huffing to herself and leaving the room.

"That Marilyn is one of the scariest people I have ever met, you're lucky to have her on your side." Hopper comments still looking at the door she just left from. "I'd rather fight an angry bear than go toe to toe with her." He turns back to look at Billy and his face really is that of a kicked puppy, what a softie indeed.

"I really didn't mean to upset you, it's just standard procedure to make sure no one else in the home is abusive or being abused."

"Just me, I'm lucky like that. Well my mom too before she up and left me alone with the bastard anyway."

"That's rough kid, I don't really know what to say cause sorry doesn't cut it. I don't know if there is anything I can say to express just how sorry I am you've had it so bad for so long."

"Ain't your fault amigo, ain't gotta say anything." Billy brushes off the other man's emotions, he can't deal with that right now. He just wants to get this done and take another nap. It's funny that he's never been able to sleep much before this but now every time he turns around he's falling asleep.

Either his body is too fucked up and needs the rest, or the fact that he's actually safe here that's doing it. Or a combo of the two, makes it a lot easier to fall asleep when you know you won't get woken up with a boot to the stomach for being lazy and sleeping in even on a weekend.

"Can we just get this over with? What else do you need to know?" He was aiming for annoyed but he just sounds strung out and at the end of his rope instead. Hopper retakes his seat and flips open the note pad and hums to himself as he reads through it.

"I think that's actually all I needed, the rest we can handle at the station. Oh wait, there is one thing. . ." He trails off as he flips the off switch on the tape recorder. "It's not related to the case but since you stated Susan wasn't a part of it she has been begging me to let her and Max visit you. We told them no visitors until you were well enough to have them and also because we weren't sure if they might have been involved especially considering their accounts of what happened so we wanted to wait until you could make the decision."

"What do you mean? They actually wanted to see me? You're shitting me. Why?" Billy asks confused as to why they would even care, he's never really been apart of their family and he knows it. The black sheep bastard son from another woman? Nah.

"Kid. . ." Hopper begins with a sad expression on his face, "When I arrived on scene they were both crying and freaking out they were so worried for you. They care, hell Maxine was hysterical crying that it was all her fault just like last time and that if she hadn't snuck out again none of this wouldn't have happened."

Hopper stops and puts a hand out on Billy's knee again, but this time Billy doesn't even flinch.

"You were dead on the ground when I got there Billy, of course they fucking care and want to see you. The last they saw of you was your face all bloody, skin pale, and lips blue. I can assure you that neither of them has gotten one wink of restful sleep since that night. Now I won't force you do anything you don't want, no one will ever again if I have any say in it. 

"But, if you could find it in your heart to at least see Maxine it would do her a world of good. My ears too cause I have to hear about her calling all hours of the day to check up on you, and when she ain't calling Susan is."

Billy is stunned. Speechless. They actually want to come see him? Him? The good for nothing that was always ruining the family diner? Even if they only want to see him out a sense of guilt that's something he hadn't expected. Especially not from Max after what he did to Steve and Lucas in front of her. A tear slides down his cheek and then another. He wipes it away and stares at it in confusion, he doesn't feel sad so why is he crying? His wires must be all crossed up.

"Yeah." His voice comes out rough so he reaches for the cup of water and takes a few sips to clear his throat before trying again. "They can come see me. If they want."

"But what do you want?" 

"Company would be good, already take up too much of Marilyn's time as it is with her baby sitting me. Besides it's not like I have anyone else who would visit me."

"Okay, they'll be over the moon to hear it and so will my secretary since she will get a break from them too."

"It's been a hell of a day though so maybe you could tell them tomorrow?" Billy asks with his shoulders hunched up by his ears feeling uncomfortable to ask for anything.

"Sure kid, whatever you want. You get some rest and we'll touch base another time."

******************

The next morning when Billy wakes up he's filled with a nervous energy, he's not sure how the visit is going to go today. He doesn't know if he should be excited or worried. He's been the piece of shit disappointment of the family for so long he doesn't know how to feel about them worrying about him. Even if it's just a quick "hey glad you aren't dead bye" that'll be more than he's gotten before when he's been in the hospital.

Whether or not that is because they never cared to check up on him before or if Neil kept them away he doesn't know. Either way it'll be nice to see them and know they are okay, especially after finding out Neil backhanded Max. He's never lifted a finger nor raised his voice against the two of them before, must have been a shock since they aren't used to it like he is. As much as he was always jealous of the fact that they never felt the sting of one of Neil's blows he never in a million years would wish it upon them. On anyone. No one should have to live like he has, no one should know how awful it really is first hand. 

Marilyn comes in not long after he wakes up, she must be watching his heart monitor like a hawk from her station to have the timing that she does. 

"Morning sunshine." She greets him with a smile.

"Good morning beautiful." He greets her back and means every word, she has to be one of the most beautiful people on the inside he's ever met. Once he might have called her face plain but now her personality and kind smiles paint her in a pretty light. He's not seen a ring on her finger, but whatever man gets her? They'll be a luck man indeed Billy thinks, she'd be a great mother.

"Since you got visitors today what do you say we clean you up a bit for them hmm?" She says as she grabs the bucket and sponge with a spring in her step. The first time she gave him a sponge bath he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole it was so embarrassing. He couldn't do hardly more than hold his arms up and out of the way for her, but she never commented and kept it professional.

Billy ain't body shy by any meaning of the word, but being helpless while someone bathes you? That's a whole other story. Thank God he's healed enough to move on his own now so she just has to get it ready for him and close the curtains so he can do it himself. He only has to wave her down for help on his legs as he can't come close to bending far enough to reach. 

Once that's over and done with and he's got new sheets on the bed and a new dressing gown he feels more ready for the day and what it might bring him. He thanks her and asks her to let him know when they come so he can be ready.

"Oh honey they've been here and waiting since before you got up and well before visiting hours." 

"Oh." He hadn't expected that, "Well in that case let um in I guess." 

"Don't worry hun, it'll be great and if it isn't I'm just a push of a button away."

"You're the bomb Marilyn, what would I do without you?"

"Not bathe yourself that's for sure!" She says with a laugh that earns an answering smile from the teen. She gives his shoulder a squeeze before she leaves the room to go get Max and Susan. Once she's out of the room his heart starts beating louder in his chest. 

He's nervous, so nervous and he doesn't know why. It's not like they are strangers, or that they're gonna hurt him or nothin'. So why is he worried?

It seems like only a few seconds go by from when Marilyn left to when the door is opening up again so at first he assumes she must have forgotten something and came back but in rushes a head full of bouncing red curls instead. 

"Billy!" She half yells, half cries when she sees him before launching herself at him. She wraps her arms around his thighs and buries her face into his lap as she bursts into tears. Billy sits there in shock, she hasn't given him a hug since she decided she was too old for hugs and out grew them. Slowly he wraps his arms around her shaking shoulders but instead of comforting her like he meant to she just cries harder.

"ImsorryImsorry I'm soooo sooo sorry." She cries into his lap, "It's all my fault if I hadn't snuck out, if I hadn't lied about it, If I had listened--" Her voice breaks and she full on bawls in his lap. He can feel tears welling up in his own eyes at the display from his kid sister, the same one who screamed about how she wished he was dead not two weeks ago after a fight.

"It's okay." He tells her, it's really not but whatever. He can be a man about this, it's not like something else wouldn't have happened anyway. She sits up and looks him in the eyes. Her face if puffy from crying and she's red all over. Snot and tears all over her face, he's never seen her look so awful, but his eyes zero in on her right cheek.

It's bruised.

He reaches out slowly and brushes her mess of hair away from her face so he can get a better look. There is a small cut on her cheek bone from Neil's class ring, Billy knows that sting well. He brushes his thumb along the bottom of it as gentle as he is capable of. He hopes it doesn't scar.

"It's nothing." She says turning away.

"It's not nothing, he should have never hit you."

"Well he should never have HIT YOU EITHER! You almost died Billy! You did die and-and I had to watch and kno-know that it was all my fault!" She tries to twist away from him but he holds her wrist, not in anger, but in care forcing her to turn back around and look at him.

"He'd have done it one way or another eventually Max. You have to know that, hey at least this way you got to play hero again right? Big tough Max and her vicious bat taking no one's shit and saving the day." A small smile curves her lips for a second before her expression crumbles again.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, I just-"

"No," Billy stops her before she can get started, "Thank you for stopping me, what you did? The way you stood up for your friends and kicked my ass? It was totally bad ass." He says with a smile really meaning it before his face goes more somber.

"I-I was acting like Neil, I was-- I almost-- God Max if you hadn't stopped me I'd have deserved to die that night. I-I lost control and without you there, without your bravery he woul--" Billy's throat closes, he can't say it. What he almost did, it makes him sick to think about it. "Just, thank you."

Max sniffles and wipes at her eyes but there is a hint of a smile on her lips. No doubt she is feeling just as off as Billy is about this whole situation, it feels like years since they last talk to each other like normal people who don't hate each other. He's missed not being on her bad side all the time, they were never as close as brothers and sister aught to be but this is a step in the right direction.

There is a soft sniffling sound from the doorway that draws his attention and that's when he remembers Susan wanted to visit too. He sits straighter in the bed and the almost smile on his lips falls away as the blank mask slips into place. He's always been very careful to be proper and polite with Susan, for one she has never once given him grief, and even if she had he wouldn't have ever dared to step out of line with Neil's new, perfect wife. 

That would have been game over if he ever tried. 

Her normally perfectly done hair and make up is missing, Billy isn't sure if he's ever seen her without make up before. She was always sure to look her best no matter the time of day. She is wiping at her eyes with a tissue as she sniffles, it's a weird sight to see her like this. Over him.

It was always obvious she didn't approve of how Neil had raised him, but she never once spoke up in his defense. Once upon a time he was bitter as can be about it, but standing up to a monster like Neil? He couldn't fault the petite woman for it, now her choice in men. . .that's a whole other story.

But then again Neil was different with her, free with the compliments and gifts. It was almost like he saved up of all the bad things in him and took them out on Billy so that he could be the perfect husband for her. 

"Hello Susan." He greets her stiffly unsure of where he stands with her. They tended to keep to themselves for whatever reason. 

"Oh Billy," She breathes out her voice shaking ever so slightly as she takes a step forward towards the pair of them on the bed. "I-I'm sorry. I should have done something, I knew, I knew it was wrong. I knew it but I just, I just pretended. And-and you almost died because of it!"

Billy holds his tongue, he wants to agree with her, to yell at her for being the adult in the situation and doing nothing to stop it but he doesn't. He's angry, been angry about this for a long, long time but you know what? What good has anger done him so far? Sure it helped him survive but it didn't actually fix anything, hell it made it worse more often than not. 

"I'm not asking you to forgive me I don't deserve it. But I want you to know you have a place with us, i-if you want. You won't even have to look at me if you don't want to, but I don't want you out on the street o-or in one of those horrible halfway houses."

"What? Y-you'd take me in? Why? I'm not even family, I'm just that asshole's son." Max puts her hand on his chest to get his attention.

"Yes you are. You said so yourself in the car remember? Even if we don't like it we're family and we gotta look out for each other." 

"Just think about it okay?" Susan begs him, "Take as much time as you need, we'll be here for you whenever you're ready." 

"Okay." He agrees with a small voice, he really never expected for them to welcome him home with open arms. . .but guilt does strange things to people. They're probably just offering out of obligation, it would be pretty shitty of them to toss someone who nearly died to the street. While he would hate to live there out of the kindness of their hearts, he doesn't really have any other options so he could put up with pitying stares and awkward silences until he's 18. 

"I'll think about it, not really in much of a position to make many choices right now though Susan." He tells her honestly and she nods and says she understands and that there is no pressure. 

Max stands back up and walks over to her mom and whispers something to her that makes Susan look up at Billy and back to her daughter before she nods.

"I'll leave you two alone for a minute while I go ask the nurse how you are doing." She announces before quietly walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her. Max walks back over to Billy sits in the seat beside his bed and worries her lip between her teeth.

"What is it?" Billy asks knowing she has something on her mind she didn't want Susan to hear. Max takes a deep breath and brushes her hair out of her face.

"I promised not to tell anyone, but you almost died because of it so I think you should know." Billy has no idea what she could be talking about but her deadly serious expression worries him. "The reason I snuck out, the reason we were all at the Byers house? It was big, like really big. Like end of the world big. I would have never done it if it weren't a matter of life and death, not after what happened last time. . ."

She doesn't need to say anymore, they both know what happened, how bad it was. They've never talked about before, not even as indirectly as they are now, it was a bad time for Billy and he likes to pretend it never happened as much as he can. Not that it was rainbows and sunshine for Max either, she lost the foundations of trust and friendship with her step brother that night and witnessed for the first time how cruel her step father could really be.

"I swore I wouldn't tell anyone, not that'd anyone would believe me if I told them with how crazy it all was. I almost don't believe it happened and I was there." Max continues in a rush, "Monsters are real, like really real. And -- and we fought them! Well mostly it was Steve and El, but still! I still don't really understand how it all works but like I **had** to go, if I hadn't been there people would have died."

Her eyes widen suddenly and she holds her hands up and shakes her head rapidly.

"Not that I was trading your life for someone else's or anything! I swear! I thought I could get away with it, if I had known. . .God Billy I still don't know if I could have done anything but leave. If you had seen those monsters you would understand. Like, it was for the greater good of humanity you know?"

"No Max I really don't know, and I gotta be honest nothing you're saying is making sense. Monsters? Fate of the world? Steve, The Pretty Boy Harrington fighting and winning?" His face scrunches up as he tries to think of what that nerd game that's become more popular recently. "Is this some Dungeon's and Dragon's shit?"

"What?" Her expression is full of offended confusion, now that's the Max he knows. All the touchy feely bullshit and crying was making him feel like he got sucked into invasion of the body snatchers. Even with her glaring at him he can't help but smile relieved to see her act like herself again.

"No it's not some stupid D&D thing. It was real, it happened." She puts her hands on her hips and lets out a dramatic sigh, "I knew you wouldn't believe me, but whatever. I tried, that's what everyone says matters right?" 

"Hey," He starts reaching a hand out to lightly rest on her forearm, she looks at him warily unused to him using a gentle tone with her, or anyone really. "Look, what ever reason you snuck out? It doesn't matter. I snuck out plenty and only got caught maybe once out of a hundred times and got my ass beat. Just cause Neil was an asshole doesn't mean you should have had to be any better than me.

"I'm dead serious, I know -- I know I was really rough on you after, after Cali cause I was hurting. You were just a kid, you didn't deserve it. I know that now, hell I knew it back then but I didn't care and wanted to take it out on someone and you were an easy target. It was real shitty of me, I was being a shit step brother no two ways about it."

"Yeah you were." Max whispers under her breath barely loud enough for Billy to hear.

"We both saw how well it worked out for either of us holding grudges. Been there, done that, Let's not do it again okay? Whatever business you had sneaking out? It doesn't matter, what happened wasn't your fault and I ain't gonna waste anymore of my life blaming the horrible shit he did to me on anyone else. It was all on him, I get that now. It wouldn't have mattered how good I acted he still would have beat me.

"Hell he even went so far as to hit you after choking me to death in the living room? That's some cold ass shit Max. It's a damn good thing you're tough as the nails in your freaky bat and laid him out when you did. Let him walk over you one time and it's all down hill from there let me tell you. . ."

Billy trails off suddenly realizing that he's oversharing, that he's speaking of the unspeakable. His mouth clicks shut and his eyes unfocus as his ears fill with his father's warnings and threats of what would happen to him if he talked about it. Just the moment before he was speaking freely without even thinking about it but as soon as he realized what he was saying he shut down. 

It was one thing to speak to the cop, he's a figure of authority, not so far removed from the position of power Neil held over him to feel strange talking about it. But to tell Max? To say those things to a little girl, even one who has seen bits and pieces of it feels wrong. As much as Billy has preached about how people should know how unfair and cruel the real world is he wants to protect Max, she shouldn't know this shit. It's been his cross to bear and his alone, he shouldn't burden her with it.

"It's Steve's bat actually." Her words pull him back and he looks at her in confusion for a moment until he remembers mentioning it. It's a pretty obvious subject change, but he's grateful for it none the less.

"Well it seems the so called King is full of surprises isn't he?" He says with a twist to his lips, she gives him an odd look for it but doesn't ask. Good, cause he sure as shit ain't ready to open that can of worms any time soon, if ever.

"He's tougher than he looks, and I know. I thought the same things you did when I first saw him too." Billy highly doubts that but he keeps his mouth shut. "Should've seen him swing that thing around knocking monsters down left and right even beat to hell. If it weren't for him none of us would have made it, he bought El time to do her thing and save the day."

"Sure would have loved to see that." The curiosity he's never managed to kill about the pretty boy so out of place in this backwater town peaks it's head up. Her unbelievable story of monsters and the end of the world, be they fairy tales or gross exaggerations sound nicer than the night he had by a long shot. Maybe she was tripping, must have been some good shit to come up with that, but he can't fault her. He's tried his fair share of the stuff and had crazy experiences that, at the time, he could have sworn were real.

She stays with him for a little while longer asking him how they are treating him here until she runs out of things to say. They've never done small talk, even back when they were on more friendly terms before the incident in Cali so an awkward silence falls upon them. Billy lets out an exaggerated yawn, not that he isn't tired, he's always tired these days, but more to get her off the hook.

While he has enjoyed her company more than he thought he would, he'd rather throw himself down a flight of stairs than make someone keep him company out of guilt. No matter how lonely he is, and how much he craves seeing another person. No matter how much he wants someone here to distract him and keep him out of his own head that seems like it only wants to play horror scenarios on repeat.

She gives him a hug goodbye and promises to visit again tomorrow -- if he wants of course. He says he'd like that, then as an offhand thought he asks if she could bring him his cassette player and some of his tapes. He would prefer his record player, has much better sound but he doesn't think Marilyn likes him enough to let something like that slide so he'd settle for the beat up cassette player.

She agrees happily, like she's glad she can do something for him even as small and as insignificant as bringing him something to distract himself. She has a bounce in her step as she leaves his room, and for once when he's left alone the dark spiraling thoughts that have been his companion for longer than he cares to think about stay away. 

Every time they start to come back to haunt him he just pictures her brightly smiling face, remembers the warmth as she hugged him and it keeps them at bay. When he starts to worry about the future he hears Susan's voice telling him that he has a home with him if he wants and it gives him hope. He still doesn't know if he wants to go back with them, he doesn't know if he can handle going back to that house right now, but having the option goes a long way in helping him cling onto hope of a better life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this story is holding me hostage making write up a storm ain't it? So I while I would like to say that I probably won't have another update for a week or two, but who knows? xD
> 
> Also I totes lied, next chapter and probably the one after that will also be in between season 2 and 3. This is turning into another monster of a story. oppsey daisy


	4. Chapter 4

The next week goes by with visits everyday from Max and with each one the ice between them begins to melt further. They are a long way off from how they were before in Cali, but Billy would be lying through his teeth if he said he wasn't happy as hell with how things are going right now. The only thing he doesn't like is the not so casual way she brings up "when he comes home. . ." he's not ready, not by a long shot.

But he's running out of time. Marilyn tells him he'll be able to be released in a few days time, and it should be good news but it makes his chest fill with anxiety. It's great, really great that Susan is willing to take him in and it's not like he has anywhere else to go but the thought of going back there. . .

He just can't do it. But it's not like he can tell her that the thought of going back to where he was beat over and over til his dad choked the life out of him makes his blood run cold. It's not like he can expect them to find a new place just because he's too scared to go back there. Shit, he's nearly a grown man already and he knows he should just suck it up and take what is offered. Especially when it's the only choice he's got.

He becomes more withdrawn as his release date nears, he knows he's being an asshole brushing off their kindness but he can't help himself. It's not until two days before D day when Hopper shows back up again. Billy sits up in his bed straight and puts on a serious face expecting some issue or that maybe the cop needed more details or something.

"Hey kid, how you doing?" He asks with a casual air but Billy can see the tightness around his mouth and knows this is more than a courtesy call.

"Marilyn says I'm doing really good, and that I can get out of her hair any day now." Billy answers as if he's looking forward to it rather than dreading it. The cop gives him a long look and the teen knows his nonchalance has been seen through. 

"That's great kid, actually that's why I'm here. What do you say we go for a walk?" Billy's pulse races but he nods all the same. This time he's able to get himself up and walk without needing any help from the large man, but the man brushes his shoulder with his own as they walk just the same.

It's nice, a subtle show of support. Something Billy could really use about right now. Marilyn doesn't eye ball them, nor give them a guilt trip this time. She gives Hopper a loaded, pointed look to which he nods back to. Billy doesn't know what that is about, and if it were from anyone besides the sweet nurse he'd be real nervous about it, but she's never been anything other that kind and caring towards him so he trusts her.

Probably just warning the larger man off of upsetting Billy again, even though is throat is nearly recovered now so he's not in danger of having another fit unless he really over does it. They walk side by side out of the building and into the sunlight. The warm rays hit Billy's face and he closes his eyes for a moment just to enjoy the feeling. Why the hell hasn't he gone out on his own or with Marilyn since Hopper first took him outside?

The fresh air, the gentle breeze, and the open space feels amazing to Billy right now. He should have done this sooner, he thinks as he reopens his eyes to find Hopper looking at him intently. Billy gives him a "What?" look which makes the cop's lips twitch into a half smile and he shakes his head not answering.

They walk over to the bench and sit down, the larger man's body just barely brushing against his own. A feeling of safety, another kindness Billy can't hope to repay. They sit in silence for a time before Billy's curiosity gets the best of him. He never was the patient type.

"So I know you didn't come all this way just to hang out with the local delinquent, what is it?" 

"Ain't getting anything past you is there?" Hopper says letting out a tiny sigh. "You're right, that's not why I'm here. Have you thought about where you wanna go after?" 

Billy blinks in surprise at the question, not something he expected at all. Hopper takes his silence as a queue to continue.

"I hear Susan has offered to take you in." He comments casually but something on Billy's face must give away what he thinks about that. "I also hear you ain't too keen on it." Billy opens his mouth to protest, he's never said anything about it but the cop just raises his large hand to stop him.

"Hey no, it's okay. I'm not judging you, I wouldn't want to go back there either, no one would. I'm sure they just didn't think of that is all. Shit this is coming out all wrong let me start over." Hopper lets out a heavy sigh at the distrustful look on Billy's face before he tries again.

"Right. So. You know how I said I know someone who's had it rough like you?" Billy nods slowly not knowing where the man is going to go with this. "Well that person is my daughter. Well, adopted daughter, but that's the same thing. Anyway, what I'm getting at is that I've learned a thing or two from having her in my life about kids in your situation and well, I'd feel a lot better if I knew you were somewhere good and safe. 

"I have a cabin, out in the woods. Nice quiet place and almost never any visitors unless you want them. It's a good place to recover and lick your wounds. Right now it's just me and her, but I got a spare room." 

The cop can't seriously be offering. . .?

Can he?

Billy stares at the other man in silence trying to read him, but he seems genuine if not a little shy about the offer.

"If I'm stepping out of line you can tell me to fuck off, but I want you to know you have options. You shouldn't have to go back to that place, and you can have Max up to visit as much as you want. Her and my daughter get along like wild fire as is so it would be no trouble."

"Wait, wait wait." Billy holds up a hand stopping him before he can ramble any more. "Are you offering what I think you are?"

Hopper looks at him with a soft expression as he stares right into Billy's eyes and maybe even down into his soul as he answers so that the teen can know beyond a shadow of a doubt he is serious.

"I want you to stay with me, at least for a few weeks. It's a safe place and we won't ask anything from ya. Just stay until you got your head back on straight at least. And if you want to go back with Susan or whatever after a few weeks I won't stop you. Hell, I'll help you pack up and get settled." Hopper's eyes beg him to say yes and for a moment Billy almost does.

But then he thinks about how far the cop is putting himself out for Billy and he's doesn't even know what he is. How could Billy accept any more from the guy when he's got such a nasty secret. It wouldn't be right, not that Billy is used to doing things the right way or anything, but there are some lines you don't cross. Besides if he knew just what he was inviting into his home with his daughter he'd have second thoughts if he didn't curse him on the spot.

Billy lets out a laugh, it's wrong and full of sharp edges making the other man look at him in surprise. 

"You don't want someone like me stinking up your place."

"I know a thing or two about being on the wrong side of the law and from what I've seen of you I ain't worried. My girl could put you in your place better than I could if you acted out."

"That's not what I'm saying old man." Billy's thorny defenses he built up over a life time coming back in full force. He's about to do something real stupid and he knows it so he puts on the familiar mask of the disrespectful teenager he's honed to perfection. He looks straight into the cops eyes so he'll know Billy is being dead serious.

"I'm a faggot. Why do you think my Dad beat the hell out of me so often? You don't want to invite my particular brand of sin into your home, hell if you stop helping me right now I wouldn't blame you. I know what I am, how wrong I am. Ain't nothin' gonna change it if dying didn't do it."

The cop's eyebrows raise in surprise and he stares at Billy for a few long seconds without saying anything. Billy holds his breath, and braces himself for the worst but the old cop just lets out a laugh and slaps his knee.

"Shit kid I don't care what you are, or what kind of people you like to get up with. Hell, it'll be a relief I won't have to worry about my daughter around you, not that I would have but you know." The cop takes a deep breath and moves his hand to rest on Billy's knee-- actually choosing to touch someone like him even knowing what he is. It doesn't make any sense.

"Shit, this is way above my pay grade but I do know times are a changing. Sorry your dad didn't get the memo and clung to the old shitty ways of hate. Now, me personally? I don't give a shit what people do or who they chose to be with. Ain't none of my business as long as everyone is safe and happy. Never did understand why other men would hate gays, I mean that's less competition for me am I right?"

Billy stares at the strange and progressive cop completely dumb founded. He expected-- he thought--

"Why are you okay with this? I'd bet you a hundred dollars if I told another person in town I'd be chased out by the time it grew dark."

"You might be right with a small town like this." Hopper admits with a nod, "But then again some people might surprise you. I've seen real monsters and sick bastards who get off on hurting others. They are the real problem, not people like you just trying to live your life and be happy.

"Listen kid, you were real brave to tell me this and thank you for the warning I guess. But honestly? If you told me you had magic powers it wouldn't have changed anything. My offer was in good faith, no strings attached. You ain't gotta be anyone but yourself, none of that best behavior 'yes sir, no sir' bull. You're gonna have a rough time, you're gonna have bad days where you hate the whole damn world and ya know what?"

"What?" Billy asks cautiously.

"You have every right to. The world failed you up until now, hurt a kid who shouldn't have had anything but love and care and that wasn't right. So when you feel that need to strike out, hurt something like you've been hurt I get it. I really do. I saw your face when you talked about Steve, you didn't really want to hurt him I could see plain as day that just thinking about it made you sick.

"So I know you ain't a monster like your piece of shit dad, you were hurt and you lashed out. Well my cabin is off the beaten path so if you feel it coming on go howl at the moon. Chop down some trees, listen to that angry music I know the kids your age are into. I won't stop you, hell I might join ya some nights."

"How do you know so much? Was your old man a hard ass too?" Billy asks wondering if he had a kindred spirit in the town, but the cop shakes his head.

"Nah my old man was fine. It's my girl. She uh, she's been through a lot. Like you but different. That's all I can say, rest is up to her if she feels up to talking about it. Not that you should expect her to, she don't like to talk to me about it much, but who knows maybe she would with you since you'd actually know exactly how she felt I guess."

Hopper stops and looks around them as if making sure no one is nearby to ease drop before he leans in continues in a soft voice.

"She's had a rough time, they didn't even let her go to school so she seems a little slow but she's smart as a whip even though she don't know too many words. Honestly, you'd be doing me a favor coming and staying with us even for just a few weeks. I think it would do her some good to have someone around who understands her ya know?" Hopper looks down at the ground, "I try but it ain't the same, I had a good childhood and nice parents I can't really understand what growing up like you two did does to a person. I don't always know how to handle it but I try, I can be real patient if it's for a good reason. A good cause like you two."

"Alright, alright I'll come baby sit for you old man. Don't gotta bust out the water works just to get a live in sitter, I'm on to you now." Billy can't-- won't accept the man offering him sanctuary for free, but if he's doing the tired cop a favor? Well that's a different story all together. Billy knows he's being played, that this is some psychological thing or whatever, but he'll be damned if it doesn't work. 

He ain't ever been the type to take hand outs, but if he's giving something in return, even something as small as company for another messed up kid? Well that's okay. 

The tension in the large cop's shoulders releases and the man lets out a relieved sigh. He gives Billy a big, genuine smile as if he really is doing the cop a favor by agreeing. Big old bear of a man with a perpetually grumpy expression, and yet he's a total softy. Like a damn teddy bear.

"That's great kid. My girl is going to be excited to meet you, she's been real sheltered and hasn't had much in the way of friends besides the nerd squad as you call them. They're good kids, but it'll be great for her to meet someone who's seen the rougher side of life I think. Make her feel less alone in it ya know?"

"Yeah." Billy replies softly. He wishes he could have had that, just having someone there who understood, someone to talk to. . .It would have been nice. The happy light in Hopper's eyes dims a little as he looks at Billy but the teen just gives him a shrug. Can't change the past, ain't no use feeling bad about it.

"I can, uh I can talk to Max and Susan for you. So it won't be awkward or nothin', can tell them its procedure for your safety and recovery or something. They won't question the Chief."

"Okay." Billy says in a small voice relevied he won't have to tell them the truth. That he won't have to see the happiness turn to disappointment in in Max's eyes when she realized he isn't coming home with her. It's a cowards way out, but he's never pretended to be brave.

A large hand reaches over and grips his shoulder giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze. 

"You're gonna be alright kid." He says it like it's a fact, not a promise. As if he will move the Heavens and the Earth to make it happen, and Billy believes him. God help him, he's got some hope left in him after all but as he looks over at the tough as nails Chief of police he thinks if there were anyone he could place his trust and hope in, it should be this man. No one fucks with the Chief, and if he says Billy is going to be okay?

Well maybe he will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a sucker for Billy/El recovery!buddies so away we go~~~~
> 
> Probably be a bit for next update as I need to finish my monster story for another fandom, but I'll be back soon for more Stranger Things fun times. ^___^


End file.
